Apparently...

Apparently I'm "insanely adorable".

No one ever told me!

Milly's Got A Brand New Link

Here's another hand-clicked link for you to add and make your website look "oh-so-much-more-exciting". Just copy and paste the following code in and you're away:

<a href="http://www.mattmilhouse.blogspot.com"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/53/118733895_74135d6fab_o.png?v=0"></a>

If you gase your eyes to the right, you may also notice I've made a few other buttons...

Milly Lomo - is my new photo community site which I'll be uploading exclusively my LOMO photography.

Steve's Knee - Is Steve Ford's own insightful blog into all things Steve releated. Suffering from a knee injury - hence the name, "steve's knee" - it also serves as a way for all concerned to check his progress... without him constantantly having to tell same story to different peeps. I like his thinking!

Hob's Blog - The same as before just a smaller button

& lastly My, You Tube - Another site I've registered with to break into video content I'll try & get some cool stuff on here for you.

Enjoy.

Love ya.

Most Triumphant, Dude

Jack dude and Bill dude were most radically seperated at birth, my man.

"Excellent" - Diddllli-diddllli-dee!

What The Hell Happened To... #1

NERDS...

OR DWEEBS for that matter... you remember those little sour candy nibblets that came in cardboard boxes with two flavours on either sides, right?

Both of them were fantastic - How come I don't see them in my corner shop anymore?

Where else am I going quench my sugar-rush urges?

You see kids, this is the reason why bad people turn to crack - you can't buy Nerds anymore.

Man, that Willy Wonka is losing considerable business :(

Someone please find them and buy me a packet.
JUST ONE. I GOTTA HAVE JUST ONE!

What Large Teeth You Have Granny

I know what you're thinking - Matt you have really red cheeks...
I was thinking the same thing today.
It's takes me back just how surprisingly red they appear sometimes.

Then I started wondering why is it that they're red at all? There must be a reason for it?

I continued wondering... Maybe back in the golden age - when man wielded massive clubs, and conked them over the heads of angry dinosaurs - Man used his red cheeks, much like many of today's animals use brightly coloured signals, as a way of sex-ify-ing the opposite sex.
The redder they looked, the more likely he was to win over a mate over his lesser redded opponent.

This is probably all bollocks...

...In fact I know it's bollocks. But I liked thought of being a right sexy chap if I was born only a few millions ago. Then again, I bet all the ladies were ugly and hairy.

hmm. that's quite a compromise.

If you didn't know - which you probably don't unless your names Cami - Cami managed to make Lomographer of the day on www.lomography.com . Definitely a very cool achievement indeed. 3 Cheers and what-not.
When you check out her lomohome (link on the right --->) make sure to take a look at the 'Brighton' set as well as 'Addicted To The Park' album too. Some cracking shots there.

Dom, you got to your shizle together mate, the competition is already making it's attack.

Not to mention myself gnawing at the ankles too - Since LOMO is the new Polaroid, I bought myself a camera on eBay a while back and got my first roll back from snappy snaps the other day.

Granted, 90% of them were awful, but that's the price you pay for the wonderous delight of the LOMO spontaneity. I've stuck a few on t'internet for you to dazzle over with more to soon follow.

At the moment I'm still just trying to gauge how to use the focus, since it's pretty much a case of guess work with this camera. I'm also just using whatever colour film make I can find, so I've yet to get try cross-processing techniques and using certain rolls yadda, yadda yadda.

I've decided that I'll be sticking all LOMO shots on this lomography site as well my usual Flickr account as as I want to try and compete for the awards they compete for on lomography.

I'm pretty sure I was supposed to mention something else but I've forgotten what it was.

Though I will mention, that there's been a fair amount of people I haven't managed to keep in contact with recently and wanted to say, I haven't forgotten you. I hope that sometime soon I'll get a spare moment to catch up with you & get all the juicy gossip. At the moment I've lots of issues piling up to sort out and a few important future responsibilities to think about.

On an end note, I just wanted to add that after seeing Newman and his girlfriend Carrie the past two evenings, how thrilled I am for him that he's met such a lovely person. I really look forward to seeing them again soon.


Ta-rah my lovelys!

I'm Ready For My Close Up

Went to the doctors this evening because I could feel a lump in my throat.

NO, I had'nt watched The Snowman today & NO, it isn't a time in a boys life when he becomes a man - before you comment.

Apparently I have a swollen Lymph Node, which I'm told is nothing to really worry about - yet.
(It's the submental ones if you're that interested)

So I feel a big phew is in order...

Phew.

In other news today. I suspect I crashed & burned in the Maestro course today but if I did then so did everyone else. Guess we'll just have to bait our breath and see.

Janitor Johnston

My goodness.

You won't want to know what I had to clear up in store today, but I will say that there was plenty of it, & pine forest air freshner did jack-shit to get rid of it.

10hour shift in probably the quietest Nero in England - I've had less dragging days in all honesty.

A number of people text me today but for some reason my phone was cacking up and I couldn't send any messages to you. I'm sorry.

I heard from the grape vine that there was a spot of trouble in Ponge today, seems to have affected a lot of people in one way or another. Thankfully, as far as I know, no one is hurt.

Been downloading so much music recently, it's becoming an addiction. I don't even listen to the new stuff I've got, I just keep compiling and compiling. It's getting quite bad actually.

Managed to burn myself on the pasty oven AGAIN. I tell you, the amount of times i've injured myself working here I recking I should start filling out life insurance forms. That place is a death trap.

I forgot to mention last blog that I caught up with Justine the other day and had a good ol' chin wag session in Bromley(starbucks ).
...Sorry did I accidently swear just then??? :)
Hadn't seen her since Jonnie's Charity Ball, so it was good to see her again.
Some very amusing jokes and stories told.

I'm slightly worried at the moment, because sitting in my room & I keep hearing whistling noises. Now I think it's coming from my nostrils but I'm not sure.
It's barely audible, but now i've noticed it I'm hearing it all the time.
The weird thing is that I swear it's out of sync with my breathing - which is why i'm not 100% that it's coming from me.

Maybe it's a little mouse nesseling in my desktidy.

Hmm.

I feel this is a bit of a strange blog today, since it's all a lot of mini broken stories rather than my usual long-winded rant about something tedious and irrelevant. But nevermind, this could still work.

Doing a Maestro test tomorow in Covent Garden to see wheather or not I'm good enough to make a few quick bucks on the side, training new coffee makers like myself, circa six odd months ago.

Hopefully it all falls into plan.

Wiitaaz Blokk

Look, I don't really have much about to write about today.
Here's a pretty picture*, now Bog Off.

* original picture created by swi

Officially 1000x Bigger Than Capital FM

Check... It... Out.








A well deserved round of applause from everyone please.

Order In Court

Today, 2 things happened.

Only 2.

The first thing being that I received a letter to say I'm up for jury service.

The second thing being that I found out the reason Biffa (caffe nero's waste collecting people) didn't pick up yesterday's rubbish, was because someone broke into their HQ.

Now apart from the obvious questions arising around why anybody would want to break into a waste removal depot, I have my suspicions that today's two events could be connected.

Hmm.

Either way, Those filfy muggas are going DOWN!

Today I Met A Tosser

Quite simply, today I met a tosser.

And me being me - exclusively surrounded by circles of highly intelligent & classy looking people - it's been a while since I last came across one.

I was, in all truth, a little taken back by how much of an idiot he made himself out to be.

Now as much as I love customers. A lot of them ARE stupid, and any attempt to be clever usually gets slapped back in their face, the poor souls.

This guy... (I say guy - he was more of a 17 year old schmuck)... This schmuck wanted a large hot chocolate which I happily made for him.

As always, I did my "six steps" stint and offered him a stamp for his loyalty card, which had only two more spaces before it was full (a full loyalty card gets you a free drink as you should already know). I gave him one, for which he was very happy for, and in return he payed his money.

...Now it's at this point that I can imagine he just remembered the little anecdote his pub mate told him the night before about how he managed to get a full Nero card without paying at all.

I turn to face the coffee machine to make a latte for myself, which is about the when I hear a casual voice from the schmuck I just served behind me call out,

"Oh yeah... can I have a look at that stamper?" - his loyalty card still on the counter.

Clearly this punk thought I had no idea what was going to happen if I let him "have a look at the stamper".


Hmmmmm... let's have a think about this one... sure... I'll give you the stamp so you can look at it then stamp then stick one on your card... yeah... that sounds like a great plan.

Idiot.

I turned round and held the stamp, showing him what it looked like.

"Yeah, can I hold it?" he says.

To which I fairly reply "Errr. No."

He sighs and exclaims to me "Oooooh, I was going to put a stamp on the card. A he he he!", smiling as if it was a hilarious prank he nearly pulled off, though clearly disappointed by the fact it hadn't work as well as his mate told him it would.

"No, were you?" in my politely sarcastic way.

"Yeah! It worked in Bromley last time."

"Did It... ...Goodbye sir."

All I can say is watch out Caffe Nero Bromley, you certainly have a real sly ol' fox on your hands there.

What a dipstick.

Farewell Home Of Nestlé

Past two day's have been pretty funny.

You could feel the testosterone dripping in Nero. Vincent, Kris & I - the three of us working today's shift - were getting proper flirty with some of the nice looking ladies asking for coffee's :)

This is even more amusing when you consider the fact that it was mostly coming from me and the fact the Vincent - a man that's look the age of a twentysomething year old - is actually 38!

Can you believe that? Incredible.

I also got a number of lovely farewell sentiments and messages from a number of my customers, as it is official now that I no longer work for East Croydon Nero as I'm to be transferred to the more centrally located West Wickham store.

Thank you in particular to Charley, Charli & Aysha for your messages - I've stuck the card & post-it's on my wall already.

Yesterday after work I partook in some girly shopping - with a number of girls (strangely enough).

Cami - also known as the girl who never leaves nero - was planning to buy a pair of shoes and a handbag that she had already picked out, but of course - being a lady an all - she ended up not buying either; resulting in us walking around 20 shops seemingly aimlessly for over an hour while I desperately struggled to not go blind from witnessing the sheer number of women's clothing on.

If you include that along with my efforts of being as non-opinionated about any item of clothing that was followed by the question "What do you think it this then?," it's any wonder how I didn't actually keel over and die from the stresses placed upon myself.

I realise now what they mean when they say those prada are to die for. (ba-dum-psshhhh-crap-joke)

To me, shopping to me is like dancing in clubs - I don't mind it but half the time I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

So it's my last day in East Croydon Nero and it was all quite emotional - and even though I'll be popping in now and then, I has to be said that I will miss a lot of my regulars and coworkers very much, even the barstad ones (I'm talking about the customers of course).

So as a closing statement in tribute to them, I have chosen to write down a list of my most memorable customers while working at East Croydon;

The Girls: Cami, Charley, Charley, Mimi, Helena, Nik, Kelly and the other's I can't remember the names of because there's so many of you (small hot chocolates with cream coz they come hear ALL THE TIME and now have no money) - How much mess can you make, yeah? Flippin heck. No honestly, I love it when you're in store because you're all fun and very nice to look at! :)

The CEX guys: Ryan, Ollie & Dave and the other one who won't give me discount (small latte's and panini's) - easily the most laid back bunch of people I've met. You ROCK the small latte.

The Harry Potter Crew (tea americanos coz they think they're too good for hot chocolate) - u smell and have the cheek to not always buy something then bring in your own food PLUS the girls were here first, so push off)

Raymond / Takeaway Regular Skinny Mocha Man - I like the way you roll your eyes when you're tired and haven't had a coffee. I'm also very impressed that you secretly write opera's in your free time!

Aysha / Grande Skinny Mocha Lady - You're extremely cheeky but always smiling happy and I can't believe you're the age you are :)

Small Black English Tea Lady - I wished you smiled - you're not very happy and it makes you look old and wrinkly.

Crazy Lady & Geordie Husband (regular cap, regular tea, glass of ice water & lemon and poppyseed muffin) - We've had our up and downs but you seem to be taking your medicine now and are a lot better for it. Hope the asbestos in your house gets sorted.

Giovanni & Wife (expresso & regular tea) - very pleasant people and greatly treasured customers. Thank you for your compliments.

Marion & Artist Friend (regular americano w/ hot milk and grande latte - once again, the ultimate in caffe nero regulars. Always here without fail.

Smiley old man - (regular cap no chocolate) when I'm old I want a face as smiley as yours... I love making you're coffee without you even asking for it.

The Lovers (2 regular white americanos) - Never have I met a couple as passionate as you two... It's lovely to see. You're also lovely people.

The Two Teachers (Regular Tea & Cappuccino w/ Almond Torta Take Away) I wish you were my teachers when I was at school.

The Chimney Man (small tea WITH TRAY) you are a ridiculous smoker plus you're quite scruffy. I don't know you do it but it's funny to watch.

Costa (Grande Soya Hot Chocolate not too hot) - If there's a camper Spaniard in Croydon, I don't want to know about him. Thank you for your compliments.

David Walsh & associate (Regular Latte and...) - A Gentleman if ever there was one, and thoroughly likeable person and one who remembers my name.

French Lady (Small Earl Gray Tea) - I just wanna say a whole bunch of nice French words to you.

The Germans (latte's, chais and americanos) Great representatives of your country.

& a whole lot more regulars... unfortunately ther're just too many of you to mention - It's been a pleasure serving you, Thank you very much, the sugar's to your left.

Look At That

Fancy eh?

NEW BUTTONS!

I hope you're appreciating these people.

Why is it something so small can end up taking literally the whole of the night to make?

Extremely fiddely but I'm thrilled to bits with how they look (snort-geek-cough).

Still a teeny weeny bit of finishing touches that I need to do (Blake or Greg man, I'm gonna need your help for this sometime).

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted the blasted wireless internet was down in my room.

Lots has happened whish I probably won't get the effort to tell you, like usual - but the important thing is that it happened - whether you knew about it or not.

Catch you round... I'm off to Sutton to work with the lovley people at Caffe Nero.
(So much of a nicer crowd than that "Croydon" lark.)