Just A Quick One

Hey I'm really sorry for lack of posts recently.

It's been a pretty buzy week.

Tonight I Finally Got Round To Sticking Some Photos On The T'Interrnet For All Too See.

It's Not Actually The Briefcase Link I Gave A While Ago But A Different Section Called Yahoo Photos

It's The Same Thing But Means That You Won't Be Able To Tamper With The Images.

Not That I Don't Trust You Or Anything... It's Just That You Will Always Get The Odd Dickhead Who Thinks It Would Be Funny To Delete All The Images I Have Painstakingly Loaded, Named, Arranged & Subtitled For The Last 3 Hours.

Anyway I Hope You Enjoy The Various Photos On There.

Go To... This Website .

I Guess It's A Good Opportunity For All You To Get Aquainted With One Another.

Family, These Are My Friends, Friends, This Is My Family... Well, Some Of The Anyway.


Tomorrow I'm Going Up To Regent Street For Some Classic Browsing Round The Fancy Shops with Ash & Gem.

Should Be Fun. Hopefully I Won't Burn Too Much Of A Hole In My Student Savings.

I Desperatley Need To Win The Lottery Or Something...

There Are More & More Things That I 'Need' To Buy.

Particularry Skool Equipment & Clothes - I've Been Wearing These Lot For Years Now.

Where Is The Wealthy Ansestor's Heritage When You Need It?


I Believe It' Will Be Ash & Gem's First Anniversary Together Tomorrow so A Big Congrats To Them For That...

That's Something, Is'nt It?

I realize I'm Seriously Lacking In Previous Daily Occurances such As What Has Happened This Week & My Weekend On A Narrow Boat...

I'll Sort Out Some Spare Time To Get Thatt Sorted For You.

I'll Just Say Though That If You Want A Mates Holiday, Get On A Narrow Boat. Really Old Skool Cool... I Love Them.


I've Just Noticed That I've Done Something Wierd. At The Moment I Can't Actually Type Without Adding A Capital Letter To Each Word.

It's Because I've Been Nameing About 60 Files And Have Got In To The Pattern Of Holding Shift After Every Word.

It Happens To Me Sometimes.


Hold Tight Guys... I'll Be Back Soon.

Take It Easy.

Can I Be Your Friend?

YESSSSS! SUCCESS!

I've finally cracked the newbie barrier!

Suddenly I'm everyones pal.

I'm being called by my first name, there's no awkward silences, I'm clicking with people on numerous levels of conversation, and I feel like I just met a bunch of live-long chums for the first time.

All it took was me acting the fool a bit, laughing a lot, and enjoying the company around me.

I actually seem to be the more dominant personality within the Animation group of 6 today, which is odd for me.

I now know Kin Ly (she was pretty hammered after 48 hours of being blind drunk and was suffering respectivley) - I suggested that she eat an apple to cure your hangover.

But then realised I got my facts truely screwed up as an apple actually has nothing to do with a hangover remedy but infact is twice as more affective than coffee at waking you up in the morning...

What a dumb ass.

We talked about how she travelled around London desperately looking for a Porn video 'for her friend's 21st celebration' (hmm, like I believe that, the foxy minx) but came back with a feature on 2 women and Cat-O-9-Tail whips. She then went back to the store and had a fat arguement with the store owner!

She kept refering to me being 'a little baby' as of my youthful face and her being a year older than me. I laughed it off, but deep down, I was hurting! : )

She buf, really buf in a British-Oriental way, but a bit dumb for my likeing (Yes ladyez, intelligence is sexy! ; ). Mind, she was still drunk thou, so I reserve her right to appear dumber than she actually might be, due to the excessive intake of Bacardi & Cokes.

Then there was James (yes I kno, another bloody one) who's profile I just managed to squeeze out - he likes a load of grungy rock bands I've never heard of.
James: 'Yeah I like Funeral, 10 mutha brothers, NIN...
...you've not heard of them have you?'
Me: 'Nnnnnnnno.'
So I tried my music expertise to impress him by saying...
Me: 'But I know a friend who's mad on INYOU, you heard of them?..
...no wait, not them...
...erm...
...what's their name?...
...INME!...
...yes, that's right...
...INME...
...he's mad on them he is.'

What a prat.

James: ...Ug.

Lorna & Holly - one blonde one brunette... equally majorly attracive, friendly, smart & smiley people - they actually asked me if I wanted to go out to the pub them and a group of others this evening.

'GET IN THERE MILHOUSE' you're saying!

Unfortunatley I had to tell them I had prior engagements at the Penge gathering and wouldn't be able to go (see, I go to meet a bunch of weirdos at church intead of making the Milhouse moves on a coulpe of hunnies - That's love man.)

I must be stupid.

Kim, Tejo, Keith, and a few others. I've made quite a selection here.
All very different but then equally v nice.
Bit like a packet of Revels except not including the coffee ones.

You can all feel very proud of my efforts today and I can go to Penge a happy man.

Just whilst I'm surfing... I've spotted myself on t'internet on the Penge Family Church webite

I'm FAMOUS! So is Dommy C, Alywin Steez & Richy Butt. Check it out.

And yeah, Check - out - the new RWS website. Pretty swish eh?

If you remeber your libary card and password you can 'hack' into the School's Intranet and 'Create Havok' Bwa Ha Ha Ha!

Oh, and you gotta check out Carl Allen, Aylwin and other recognised folk on the Penge FCFC (Family Church Football Club)
When were they taken?

You all like you were wearing Double XL shirts (No change for Aylwin, then).

It's hilarious.

I particulary like 'favoutite quotes of Jack' - He Buf.


Today was really kool. Animation is really fun.

We made a stop-motion film out of cutout characters from magazines the likes of South park.

Our's was PHAT.

We had a Popcorn Brain which turned it into Pacman who then ate a motorbike and made Bush kiss Tony Blairs head repeatidly.

A bit too long thou. Would of taken about half an hour to render as a '.avi' - Opps!

We eventually made it a quicktime movie for so once again I'll try my best to get in on t'internet.
If someone like Blake or Newman could tell me exactly how that would be good as I'm not sure I'll be able to put it on the Blogger site.
I imagine I'll have to make a seperate site with downloads. Is that right guys?

I still havn't told you about my weekend yet.
It was sooooo cool.

But I'll have to dish the dirt later, I'm going to make my way to Aylwin's now.

I'm late and it's all your fault.

Anyway, Things to see, people to do as they say.

Take Care fellow Mateyo's.

Milhouse, The Visionary

OMG! My dreams are getting better and better.

Get this...

I watched pratically a whole feature length movie... in my sleep.

And the best thing about it is, that I made it all up. It's completely my own story.

As usual I've written it all down the second I woke up as the credits rolled.

But I've decided to keep most details of it schtum purely for plagiarism reasons, just in case say Mr. Kubrick is reading this in Heaven and wants to steal it.

I'm not kidding, this stuff is blockbuster material. A homage to some of the greatest movies and stories ever told set in the styles of some of the greatest directors ever seen.

Think, Once Upon A Time In The West (Leone) meets The Matrix (The Wachowski's) meets Romeo & Juliet (Bas Lerman) meets Star Wars (Lucas) meets 2001: A Space Odyssey (Kubrick) meets, Kill Bill 2 (Tarintino) meets, say, a John Woo film.

I'M SERIOUS! It was pretty action packed. But then also had a classic plot set in stone.

Of Course there will be a few edits, Some stuff didn't make quite a lot of sense - the characters were played by the actors of Neighbors - but then I've decided that this is not to be a believable or realistic vision as it's a story from a parallel universe (that's my excuse anyway).

I am very interested in film making and would much like a career in that area, so it's definitely an idea that I will work on for the future (I suspect for all the Special FX involved, a large budget would be ideal).

Say 10-15 years down the line it could be my 4th movie, acclaiming me as a legendary story teller Director. It that doesn't work, I could always sell the script to someone else.

I know exactly how the Soundtrack will be, the cinematography, the vehicles, the sets... Everything! So sorry I can't tell you.

Strangely, Yemi - fellow art student, Stevie Wonder lova, and middle child of the 3 hugely talented Adelikan brothers (anyone remember Gbenga?) from RWS (Ravens Wood School) - plays a small role in it as the lead character's life-long friend.

(I found a couple of links on him but I'm not sure if it's the dame person or not. Perhaps someone could help me find out.)

I've taken this as a note that I will HAVE to secure Yemi a role in the film whatever happens.

Bet all the rest of you are all jealous you don't appear in my dreams eh?

I'm sure that I can fit Blake in there to play a small cameo role somewhere.

That has to be the first time I've had a major brainstorm during an unconscious state though.

I imagine that's how some of 'the Great Minds of Yesteryear' must have got their ideas.

It feels like your suddenly a higher power and aware of everything around you. Bit like being stone drunk and off your head in Blue Orchard really (What a dump though).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not making myself out to be a divine being the likes of Mozart or Einstien or anything... Though I'm not necessarily ruling this out... I'm only 18 after all (I'm sure I wrote something like this somewhere else?!...)

BTW. I watched Koyaanisqatsi today.

I'm going to swear now because I think it is nesessery - It's Fuckin... AWESOME!

That's all i'm sayin. at the mo.

I'm off to watch a load of vids i'm borrowed from the library.

Milhouse Strikes Again!

Yes it's true.

Once again I continue the quest of acting a total arse for the public's amusement.

And I have to say; it feels good to be back to normal.

I didn't tell you yesterday, but we were assigned into groups of 6 to make a short film to be shot & screened today.

Being the brand new hard-working student I never was, I spent the whole of last evening writing a draft script for the idea in mind.

The rules were that it should be 1-3 mins long and had to be edited only on camera, which meant everything had to be shot in sequence - as some of you may be aware, this a potential disaster just waiting to happen.

Of yeah, and as well as shooting it, we had to act in it too.

This was going to be pretty embarrassing.

Today we re-wrote it, re-hearsed it and shot everything in the space of 3 hours.
But the outcome is actually a pretty funny student sketch.

It's called 'Pride & Prejudice... IN SPACE! (The DVD featurette)'.

Yeah I know it's stupid, but hey it's okay because we're students.
We're meant to be idiotic.

The intension was to make a spoof 'mock-u-mentory' the likes of Spinal Tap about the making of a really crap Hollywood sequel to a British classic.

As of course, it was a complete piss-take on the shoddy DVD extras that such films have, for the film to work, everything had to be completely over the top and purposely shit.

I think we managed to pass this off pretty well!

To wrap the plot up as short as possible, it features irrelevant fake interviews with the crew and bizarre fake 'behind-the-scenes' clips of how the film goes totally tits up (even though it remains to be the most successful British film ever).

The extensive budget of the remake meant that the boisterous & idiotic Director (who doesn't know anything about the original storey) shoots everything on Green Screen but only uses 1 living, breathing actor (who's actually crap) and two CGI technicians (holding sock puppets to represent the missing characters) - One of which who can't get her head round the fact that her performance won't be actually seen, and the other who doesn't know how tall her sock puppet is supposed to be (resulting in her stretching up and down throughout the whole of filming).

I play the insanely shy film's writer, Chris Timmid (gettit!) who although he try's his best to help his absolutely murdered script from falling to the ground, is quite literally pushed around the whole time by the director.

In the end, the Diva-like Technician storms off the set & I finally throw a total sick one, shouting my head off at the fact everything's going wrong and punch the camera.

I guess you've gotta see it really but it's a real joke to watch.

You can imagine how inevitably red my face went when the rest of the class watched it.
I can't help it.

I know I look like an idiot on film but an over-the-top attitude to these situations is always better than none at all I always say.

If I can, (and I mean if) I'd love to stick it on here for you to see. Along with my head bashing stunt.

Anyway,

How are all you Ravensbourne students getting on BTW?
Blake's my only contact with you fellaz.
Does anyone know why he calls it Racodac thou?

I've gotta write a little section about Blake now because I think I owe it to him for making me laugh so much right now. I'm in the library and it's killing me trying to keep quiet.
It's the giggle loop all over again.

Everyone you have to see this it's just pure comic genius. I haven't cracked up so hard in ages.
I wish I saw it earlier thou. Read along with the music. If you know Queen like I do, you'll appreciate this. Did the bus thing really happen?

You remember me talking about the Greek beauty Natalie and how quiet she is?
Well forget that. I've managed to find...

THE SHYEST HUMAN IN THE WORLD!

I'm not kidding, it's actually quite scary how coy this person is.

It's quite possible that she was the soul inspiration for one of the 7 dwarfs.

She's Japanese, but in the whole 4 weeks at college she not shown an ounce of emotion, she seems to have a real attraction to the floor tiles (that or she has no neck), she hasn't taken part in any social activity whatsoever, I have no idea what her name is, I've no idea of her eye colour (yes girls, I do look!) ... hell, I don't even know what she sounds like, and she was in our film group of 6! (She played the sock puppet because she didn't want to do anything else - I know this because she nodded to me)

It's amazing... quite peculiar.

I'm thinking that one day she'll decide that being shy it's not as fun as she previously thought and without warning she'll spontaneously morph in to Johnny Bravo.
Or something like that.

I girl just waved too me again just now. Why are they tormenting me!

Once again, I've had no food today as I woke up too late to make lunch.
I feel its time too go home early and scoff something for a change.

Despite my self-starvation the past two days, I have successfully eaten a huge amount more than I'm used to.
This is all for a vain attempt to get a bit more bulk on this skeleton of mine.

At the moment, I found people in the street mistake me for Kate Moss's sibling too many times.

It's funny though. Whilst everyone else is trying to lose all this obese weight because they ate too many party rings as a child, I'm doing the exact opposite.

I guess I always was different though.


Catch ya later folks.


Blake, those card-swiping doors?... I totally sympathize with ya!
You're websites down at the moment. Thought you should know.
And BTW it's an arrestable offence to shoot photos in the underground... Biggup Elliot!

Collet, I think a toast to Superman would be very respectful indeed! Just make sure it's done tastefully. Perhaps a Superman sponge cake would do?

Everyone, I hope all these links i've been doing are well recieved?

Someone Shut My Mouth.

Have you ever had an incident where you've tried to apologize for being rude, but actually come off as being ruder than previously? No? Well that just happened to me.

After being 10 mins late for class, I decided that it would be respectable of me to say sorry to my week's tutor after class, as he seemed to take offence due to my poor punuality. And I don't want to start the year on a bad slate, do I?

Me: I just wanna apologize for being late today.
Tutor: Yeah, well your apology will be accepted if you don't do it again.

So far so good. But what I followed up with was where I went wrong...
I should of said 'okay' but instead, it wasn't so much what I said but how I said it.

Me: 'Yeah. Sure. C Ya.'


MATT YOU IDIOT!

I meant to give the impression that I understood what he said and respected that. But now, he probably thinks I have some deep down grudge because he told me off.

'Yeah. Sure you do. Bite me Sir.'

This has put me in a serious position...

Should I apologize again for making a potencial sarcastic comment, or should I leave it and pretend it never happened?

I'm so screwed.


My left nostril feels like I've crammed all of the antartic's icebergs in there.
I sence a winter cold a'comin. Don't you just hate that?

Red the Free Metro paper on the train today and I have to say, amonsted the death and tragedy, there a quite a few interesting articles in today's edition.

'The Top Ten Types That Wind Us Up' was amusing.
This inclueded some familier types such as...

The 'Noisy Git' - people who equip their cars with ear-drum bursting bass tubes and fans of maddening mobile phone ring tones.

The 'Movie-Going Moron' who insistes on using a mobile phone in a cinema, constantly asks their partner about the plot, eats popcorn with their mouth open and chats solidly for 90 minutes.

&, ha ha, the 'Pushy Salesman' - those joyous individuals who interrupt browsing shoppers with the phrase: 'Do you need any help Sir?' - That would be me.

But I'd like to add that whilt I've had my revenge, they tell us to do it, I wouldn't normally!

Other news shows that

• 'That Peter Kay Thing' DVD has become the fastest selling TV based release of the year (145,000 copies sold so far)
• Next week could begin Britain's coldest winter in years with maximum temps in London being 6 degrees C (That means a large probability of SNOW!)
• Marilyn Manson is planing to launch his own make-up range and also appear as the Queen of Hearts in a 're-worked' Alice In Wonderland Film.
• A pair of jeans designed by Salley Hershberger will cost $1000 (£560)
• Homosexuality could possibly derive from parents with large families.
• Some guy from Essex raising money for charity doing a coast-to-coast trek of Austrailia dressed in Tweed and riding a Penny Farthing.
• And the famous 64 year old Golden Arches logo of the seventh biggest brand in the world, McDonalds, is being ditched for a question mark.

Why?

Expect a booklet through the post some time soon with the slogan 'McDonald's: But not as you know it!'. How pathetic.

So yeah. Interesting stuff.

Someone just called my mobile but I don't have their number. 07****8890, I'm not likely to pick up if I don't know you I'm afraid. Sorry.

Has any one seen The Bernie Mac Show? Watch it. It's hilarious. Channel 4. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday 8:50am. It's like a Black version of Malcolm in the Middle!

I'm gonna go now before I'm late again.

Chowder.

All Work & No Play...

You might be interested to know that I've actually been working hard on some actual research today. Or you might not, in which case you should skip this part.
Yes. 'Actual Work'. I can't believe it either. I thought this Art Course was just a dos subject to be honest but no, somehow the infamous 'essays' have made their appearance.

After a rather amateur & late starting lecture (11:00), I went straight to the college shop, bought the cheapest sketch book I could find, and went to the Library to start planning out this essay.

It took me back to memories of my old school, drawing brainstorms, doing bullet points and of course the obligatory doodle of a stick man holding a Tommy gun. Ahh Yes!

The essays not in till the end of November, but I've decided to turn a new leaf (I think that's the phrase) and get it done well & sorted earlier rather than shoddily, 5 hours before the deadline and using matchs sticks to keep my struggling eyes open. We've all been there. Except for Dom maybe..?

I must say I did rather enjoy planning out this piece of homework. I'm packing the book full of notes and quotes and such. It's hopefully gonna be the s**t once it's finished, s'cuse me French.

The topic, f.y.i. is 'How the media manipulates the public through advertising or the press.'

I'll be looking at the power of Celebrities, Propaganda, Beckham, Target Audiences & Newspaper Hype.

Being a former film student slacker, some of this stuff I've already touched on, which is good.

B.T.W. If anyone's got the 100 greatest TV adverts on tape it would be most helpful to me.

You know, I've been saving my money up for a good two/three months now, not getting any money out of my account unless absolutely necessary. Since the prospect of having 1Mb broadband in my room, I've had even more incentive to do so.
But it seems that this week I must be listening to Shirley Bassey in my sleep - I've got an overwhelming desire to spend my money (Now's the time to strike guys!).

I bought myself two French baguettes costing 60p, so make myself packed lunch (which I might add are still delicious).
I bought four creme brules from my local M&S at £4.99 (I couldn't help myself)
A student cook book for Dommy C. (Hope it helps dude!)
A £3.95 two-night rental of 'The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' (which now, I have to add to add to my DVD collection)
A £10 phone top-up.
£5 of bottled booze (Ram's, Bombardier, Hob Goblin & good ol' Newcastle Brown)
And 1 an hour and a half driving lesson costing £26 (My 11th lesson and I've become a natural at left turn reversing!).
A 70p sketch book.
3 10-packs of Snack size Mars bars £3.59
One HB Pencil (25p)
A Blue Biro (25p)
And A Black Biro (25p)

So yeah, I'm pretty bummed that all my money been burned so fast this week.

To add the financial torment, the word on the street is that I might not be allowed broadband because of rows within the 'family unit'. So all this saving could be for nothing. Arrrgh.
I don't know why I'm not being allowed, it seems that my 'best interests' are being controlled by my Step dads hatred for me.

I've kept the broadband subject quiet for the moment. The secret is to lay low, and then next week casually bring it up again! I will get broadband, it's just a matter of time.

For those of you who might not know, I really don't get on with my step dad.
We've had an ongoing feud for a few years now. At the moment, he's been really stressed out with me for no particular reason, bad-mouthing me whilst I'm in the other room and has acted a complete prat around the house in general.
So at the moment we're not even looking at each other. I can tolerate him being around, but that doesn't mean I should acknowledge him. In my younger years I would often argue back but have found that actually makes the situation worse so now I just ignore him and we converse through my mum.

I get by though, so please don't be concerned or anything just coz I wrote that. It's what hundreds of families put up with. I just wanted to share it with y'all.

I'm thinking of going for the job on the Meat & Fish counter at Safeway's to compliment my current Deli job as I need more Green.

I advertised the spaces to the currently 'un-employed-but-ok-with-that' Ashleigh, but whether he'll take if up is up to him. My bets he won't!

I noticed that while watching the BBC's promotional music video, 'A Perfect Day' today, the magnificent 'saxophonist', Courtney Pine featured a solo in it - An artist jazz man Aylwin recommended to me.

I've been bleeding continually today.
My extensive lay-in this morning meant I had to rush around, and since my lower face was starting to look like an overgrown snow-capped forest, I needed to shave very quickly. In my haste, I nipped the skin between my nose and upper lip (I believe it's called the philtrum) and it's not stopped bleeding since. Let me tell you, you look bloody stupid having to constantly dab your philtrum with a tissue every 30 seconds because there's a red mark appearing.

You'd think that a small clean cut from a razor would heal up pretty quickly wouldn't you?

Ohh! Guess whose goin on a four-day trip on a Narrow boat?
Me!
Really looking forward to it. It starts Friday and I'm going with Cozin Jane, my Aunt n' Unk and of course Grandma & Papa. It's a secret birthday present for Papa so you have to be quiet!

Reminds me of that's kids program Rosie & Jim. Remember they had their exciting adventures and the skipper would never know! Then there was that Wooden duck on the top! Wow it was so exciting!

It's getting late now, I better go.

Tar'rah chaps and chapesses!


I apologize to Collet. I won't be able to make your partay. Hope it's brilliant thou.
I was going dress as Batman and then Ash would be Robin.
Thought Superman would be a bit unsavoury for the occasion.

Sorry Aylwin we didn't hook up Sunday.
My granparents were ova unexpectedly and you know how over-powering granparents can be...
'I came all this way too see you and you wanna go and see your friend? I won't be around forever you know...' - once they play that card you can kiss your social life goodbye.

I might be visiting Newman on the 24th, perhaps we could meet then?

'You Wanna Be A Record Breaker?'

Has anyone realised that going up an escalator the hand rest goes up faster than the stairs do?
I managed to prove this by ending up a 45 degree angle when determined not to let go of the London Bridge underground escalators.

Thought you should know.

Continueing my endurance tests for the week, I held my breath underwater in the bath for 2 and a 1/2 minutes today. No joke or a lie. Possibley being my personal record.

The secret is to take really long a controled breaths beforehand to slow your heart rate.

I, myself have practiced this act since I was a little kipper and therefore am a professional at this skill.

I should seriously advise that to anyone who has only a handfull of brain cells, this activity should not be performed by oneself as you might forget to remember to come back up afterwards.

I gotta go to work now.

Slice hams, scrub plates, initial papers, wash floors, fill counters, top pizzas, smell cheese, poke chickens and all that jazz.

Ciao.

Poor Little Bugger...

Those 'effin tubes!

The Northbound line is suspended today because of a fire inspection which is kind of worrying.
I get the Southbound to college luckily, otherwise I might of been late to college, god forbid.

The only thing is that I do plan on getting back home at some point today.

Who knows what 'terribly mysterious' things could happen if I was to stay the night in the E&C subway.

I guess a de-tour is in hand for this evenings voyge to West 'Side' Wickham.

Oh yeah...

There was a very possible possibility that I had a near death experience today (Again!).

Whilst I was traveling on the tube between Borough & the E&C station, we were whirring along quite happily...
I was listening to the 'clichéd' Rock classic, 'We Will Rock You'...
Mr. Bling next to me looked as if he left half his brain behind when out of the blue...

Buddy you’re a young man, hard man, shoutin’ in the street, gonna take on the world some day. You got mud on 'yo face. You big disgrace. Somebody better put you back in your...'

...THUD!...

...the train shook violently as it bumped on something on the rails, making quite a substantial amount of onomatopoeia and a number of freaked out faces, including mine.

'What the frell was that!' - shouted Mr. Bling's friend, Snoop Doggy Dog Jr.
(Actually what he really said was a bit ruder than that, but you get the picture.)

Could this be a coincidence?

Would listening to Queen possibly not be the best choice artists when commuting to London?

Does the ghost of dear Freddie Mercury dwell within the darkness of la Northern Line?

SPOOKY!

I don't quite know what it was but it sure did make me leave the station pretty damn quick.

My guess is it was the demise of a little black tube mouse as his delicate frame met the sturdy tube wheels moving at top speed.

Poor Little Bugger.

Didn't know what was coming - It's not easy being small you know.

Anyway. Later today, I'm eating lunch and all these girls walking past the dining area keep smiling and waving at me.

What's up with that?!

I'm not used to that much female attension.

I kept wondering weather someone wrote on my forehead when I wasn't looking.
For example 'Pretty girls, smile & wave if you like chocolate'

Not that my forehead is that big... but it just seemed to be too strange.

I mean unless seeing be-speckled, white haired teenagers eating an egg & ham sandwich is a new turn on for women, there was no reason for it.

So yeah that was nice.

There's something very uplifting about seeing smiling faces for a change.

The business men on the trains are always so miserable.

I noticed that it's something I've been practicing recently. I recommend everyone else to try it.

It's quite contagious.

Go on... try it, you might like it (please don't sue, Dr. Pepper).

B.T.W. I just found quite an interesting debate online for all you Penge readers out there.
Join in and do your town justice I say.

Me and Natalie... I mean Natalie and I - sorry grandma (she doesn't read this) - got our photos back today. And actually, they came out better than I thought.

Our next step was to work out a layout & mount it, as they needed to show a narrative.

We separated the photo's into two stories on two different performers we looked at.

One being a knife juggler with a big personality and a huge crowd.

And the other, a shy... 'ladder and diablo...er... balancer' who struggled to get more than five people watch his act.
Bless.
I gave him a few coins for the effort anyway.

It was funny getting the pictures arranged. Natalie's very sweet.

She has a really nice Greek accent, and as it was a group effort, she kept asking 'well what do you think about doing zis?..' in her Mediterranean style.

She's going back to her home country tonight for the weekend.

Thought you might want to know.

Our presentation of the photo story, I'd say, was one of the better ones.

There were a lot of people, mainly the females, who talk so quiet you can't here a word of was goin on - coz they're shy infront of crowds.

I used to be like that, but a couple of years ago I thought, well if you're gonna do anything infront of a audience you might as well go for it (many of you are already aware of this from the ever notorious, 'Milhouse Rap' - ahh memories!).

There are some good imaginations out there I must say.
But then again, there were a lot lacking a concept.

Now I'm not being a big head - I actually think I know nothing whatsoever about photography - , but so many people take pictures without thinking about the overall composition.
Just a few tips - Remember the rule of thirds, keep close to the subject and look at both the foreground & background - they're equally as important.

Pheww.

I ate my first packed lunch today!
Yes, no more spending for me.
Just Good ol' Sandwich & filling.

And I'll have you know, I actually happen to be one mean sandwich filler so say the least.

Not just ham & egg either.

Variety, is my middle name.

Generosity, my... second... middle name.

And delicious? I have it tattooed on my butt I'm so delicious (not really).

You're all jealous I'm not your mother now, aren't you?
Yes you are! A mother can sense these things.
Well you're just gonna have to except it.


As some of you might know, it was meant to be results day today but I've decided to perspone it till next week.

It's gonna be a fortnight thing now.
Which is better.

I'm sure you are very angry about this decision.
After all, it's been successful addition to my blog (spot the scark).
But I'm not sour, no no no, not at all. ; )

Now tomorrow I'm ganna plan to do nothing but eat all day if possible.
I need a few more pounds on this stick thing I call my body.

Does anyone happen to own some weight gain powder or any steroids perhaps?


Howay lads & lasses!


Collet, sorry for the typo too. Thank you for the invite. But are you sure you're not pulling my leg about this 'Hero's & Villains' theme? It's your 18th too right?

Aylwin, there's a song I'm listening to which if you listen closely says your name over and over! One & The Same - Rob Dougan.

Blake, Collet's on a bounty hunt for you.. For God sake RUN! While you've still got the chance!

'Amsterdam - The Land Of Dope & Opportunity.'

Those 'effin Tubes.

I managed to seriously cock-up today's journey.

I also kinda disgraced the English name as well.

Today I was with the lovely Natalie (My favourite name). She's a international student from Greece. She got the whole Mediterainien look going on - v. attractive, but also quite quiet.
You can imagine the number of awkward silences there were. But I held up pretty good for a fly shy guy!
We were paired up for a photography project. The topic for the project had to be on people working in London, so we decided together that Covent Garden would be a interesting place to photgraph the entertainers there. Plus it wasn't to far away either.
Ha. That's in theorey anyway.
Not being from these parts but actually being English I took responsiblity for leading the way to the Garden. But to be honest, she knew her way round better than I did by a mile.

It all went wrong from the start.

Instead of going Southbound towards the Picidally line. Guess what I do.
That's right.
We go about 3 stops before I realise that our desination on the map is getting further away from us.
What a twit.
Me: 'It's alright, we'll just get on the station going the other way. It's no probs'
Our survey says... Eeegh Errrgh!
The other platform is going to a completly different direction.
Cutting a long journey short. We did get the eventually but I fear that all the orienterring I did in Scouts was a complete waste of time.
I couldn't tell my arse from my elbow - as my Dad has affectionatley mentioned in the past.

The shoot itself was difficult as I couldn't get as close as I would like. We didn't really have a keen direction about what we were trying to get across either.
There were some good photo opps. But not my most inspiring work. 'You're only as good as your last photo' - as I just make up that quote to say.
I guess we will find the results out tomorrow (there in the lab now).

I going home early today. Otherwise my tummy will shrink to the size of a button and I'll have to fork out my life savings into another piece of London sausage roll again.

Keep voting!

C U L8R.


Gem, my deepest apoligies for the typo - Tonight I'm going to sit in dark corner and think seriously about what I have done.

Dom, Thank your mother for the card. A most unexpected a lovely warming gesture.

Paul Bratts thanks for the email.

Blake, Thank God for those water-proof trousers and you've gotta love bad teachers named Jeff.

The woman sitting next to me next to me looks lie she's straight from the 70's School of Bad Afros. She hasn't a clue about technology 'What's a floppy disk?' She asks. Ha!

Ash, I love you too man! But i'd would like to see how non-seriously you'd take having your limbs wrapped round an Beech Tree.

I Dream of Gemma.

What is happening dudes & dudettes?

I hope you've had I good 96 hours without me.

Just wanna say I did miss you!

I'm seriously considering buying broadband for my bedroom as I found myself on Friday counting the days to when I can start writing my thoughts again.

I can only do it at College you see, and I've become a tad sight addicted to this thing.

Sad, you may think, but I prefer to think of it more as a blatant cry for attension. Not that I need it. I just like it. (I'm the kinda guy who secretly wants to be a world famous musician or artist or director with a plethora of fans (It could happen).

But you know now, so it's not much of a secret really is it?

Well at least I'm honest.

Changing the subject I've had a cunning thought... If anyone's got any photo's, amusing pictures, or links they wana share, I'd be more than happy to stick em' on. I'm trying to think of way's to give this place something for everyone. A few pictures here and there are always good to share.
Jus' gimme an Email.

Which reminds me. I have a a Yahoo briefcase.

I recommend it. It's basically 30Mb of free space for you to stick whatever files you want to put on for you to access over computers or to share with peeps.
There's nothing on mine as yet, but I'll be putting up a few photo's and documents for people to view very soon.

I'll still be putting pics on here but link others to this site in future.


Well. There's so much to catch up on.

You will be pleased to know that the Golden Milhouse Award is finally completed and actually looks pretty impressive if I say so myself. I kinda took the name of the award quite literally. It's been my weekend's pride and joy. I couldn't stop tweaking it. I do like playing around on Photoshop.

It's going to be on show on Thursdays results night for the Best Food Joint 2004.

I have to say I'm slightly surprised by the lack of support my poll has been given. I expected a few more results than five. Come On guys! : )
I guess it's a more specialized topic than before. But if you don't know the places just vote for the one with the prettiest name. I think you might be only able to vote once a day so I'll try to change that if I can.
Keep voting!

Saturday morning was nice. Mum offered to make a cooked breakfast which was odd as I can't figure out what spurred on that decision. She doesn't like bacon, dislikes greasy cooking and usually is not awake till 11o' something (I think in her previous life she must of liked to hibernate in the winter, eat nuts and live in a oak tree in Kelsey). But it was a very nice gesture none the least.

Thank You mommy. (she doesn't read this)

On Sunday, my mum planned for the 'family unit' to go to see Tom Cruise in Collateral. But when we got to Beckenham Odeon we ended up going back due to James 'not being old enough to view a 15 rated presentation' - apparently the local paper wrote down it was a 12A and mums not a very good liar, bless. What made the pointless car trip worse, was that whilst Mum was having a go at the manager, I was buying a large box of Popcorn for the occasion. That was a waste of money.
You can't eat popcorn without watching a movie!
It's an unwritten law which could lead to being fined, prosecuted & be-headed so I'm told.
And it was beautiful popcorn too. Fresh, sweet & just the right temperature.

Oh well...
I'm going to see Hero on Saturday - "possibly the most beautifully shot film made, ever" - with Aylwin if any one fancies comin.
probably Saturday night anyway.
I have a previous record of arranging plans which then fall to pieces coz someone been grounded or whatever.

At last! I got my Student Travel Card.
But Bugger... It seems it's cheaper if I don't use it at all - you can only use it for week and monthly passes. £25 a week! And that's with 30% off!
London is expensive man.
Looks like I'm gonna have to double my shift at Safeways. Eerrrrggghhh!

Today I had fair reason to be quite miffed off, but luckily, thanks to my natural 'cool-as-a-cucumber' self, I managed to let it go with out attempting any personal injury.

Getting my train ticket this morning, I was happily waiting in line for my turn and listening to the Keane album on my iPod (Track 11 - Bedshaped is amazing). The man in front left, leaving me to make me to pay stupid amounts to get back home, when a very stern-looking, post middle-aged woman behind me, (looking very much like one of my 'less favourite' customers) asked if I was getting the 18-past.
Can you believe it!?

'Er, yes I AM', I replied.

The Cheeky sod.

Obviously, she was in a needless rush and thought that because she was holding an oversized portfolio she could jump in front of me.

Just coz your older than me doesn't mean you can skip the queue. If you were bigger, then perhaps.
BUT YOU'RE NOT OLD WOMAN!

The trains were slow today so I thought I was going to be late.
The tubes were freakishly quite so I thought a zombie might jump me like in 12 day's Later.
But it didn't.

I rushed to the lecture theatre to find no-one there.
'Oh crap'.
I look at my time table to check, and it clearly says 'Tuesday 5th, Workshop Lecture Theatre, Group 2, 10:00am'.
So I look all around the college looking for my Group when I realize...
'This is the wrong timetable'.
It turns out there's another timetable on the other side of the sheet saying 'Tuesday 5th, Workshop Lecture Theatre, Group 2, 11:00am'.

The bastads.

What kind of doofus makes to conflicting timetables I tell ya? Who!? Mr. Confusing that's who.

Nobody want to be at school an hour early. Unless your Blake of course.
I checked my emails and red the paper.

I forgot to mention on Thursday last week we had a documentary maker in talking about media research (We've 4 weeks of induction on each part of the course - this week it's Photography)
We had to do a 5 min presentation on the Elephant & Castle 're-generation' project in groups on 5.

It was at this point I realized something amazing...

There's more Girls than Boys here.

I'm like outnumbered 4-1 here.

Now most of the male generation may think this is great, and there is that part of me that thinks so too.

After all, there are some pretty fantastic faces round this joint.

But I can't talk about boy stuff anymore. What if they here me? I mean, with that many female species in one spot anything could happen. They might chase me round the college trying to slap me coz I said something stupid like girls shouldn't play sports unless they are bouncing a lot and wearing small costumes (Just an example girls, don't hate me).

To make things worse, out of the remaining people with bits included, I'd say half them prefer pink to blue - you can't talk boy stuff to them.

Which leads me to the question of whether I should start buying cushions with flowers on like everyone else if you get my jist.

It's a question I have often pondered, but usually I end up thinking how I could ever get my voice to sound so lady-like.

How do gay men do it? What did they sound like before they started listening to Frankie goes to Hollywood.

If you do happen to be homosexual, please contact me. I would very much like to know the answer on that particular topic.

Another question that entered my head was how do you spell 'Disslexeare'? Why choose I hard word to describe a spelling disorder?

If you do happen to be 'Disslexxick' please contact me. I would very much like to know the answer on that particular topic too. Just make sure you spell the e-mail address correctly.

Any hoo.

Getting back to this research thing, we had to interview the people of E&C about their views of the £1billion project to give this **it hole a good old lick of paint.
It was quite interesting really, they're spending 25mil just on trying to advertise the proposition to locals but no knows a dam thing.

Thousands of estate families will be kicked out of their homes and into infuriately city accomadion... the market place will be forgotten with the new Shopping center, and it will be a major transport centre to get in to central London.

Basically they are gonna try and reinvent the place, which isn't bad but all the culture and people who can't afford to live anywhere else will be washed out.

I've mixed views personally but it was very thought provoking even though it doesn't really affect me.

Most recently I've been having the most perculier dreams.
I have a pad a pen next to my bed so if ever I have such an occasion I can jot it down before I forget it.

Tonight's one was short and sweet quite simply, I was playing pool with Ash, Newman, Lorrie (Aylwin's sister), and a girl from work. I was feeling really stuffy and had the urge to tell all these really geeky crap jokes. I couldn't help myself. The girls thought that this was hilarious and were laughing their heads off. Ash was trying all these fancy pot shots but every time cocked the shot up, making huge holes appear in the table felt. The twit. And Newman amusingly got kicked in the head from the girl at work because he sat on her lap and didn't realize she was wearing mistletoe and had to snog her.

???? I know, Weird.

But I have to say Saturday night's has to top that.

In my dream, I woke up in the morning and found out that Gem (Ash's girlfriend) had stayed the night in my room (I swear to God nothing happened Ash!). We were talking about how much she had a crush on Robbie Williams. We were all very giggilly at which point I decided to try and stick googlely eyes onto a book. I was so tired though that my eyes were falling asleep and I missed the book and instead stuck them on my forehead. I kept apologizing to her but she too was laughing her head off.
I then realized there was a load of grey elastically dead skin all around my neck from sleeping rough. So I started peeling it but it didn't help as more and more appeared.
I then asked Gem if she had watched Joanna Lummley on Parkinson the night before (she was talking about a ghost story that happened to her which genuinely freaked me out!).
We then were suddenly transported into a trailer for a new BBC sit-com starring Dawn French about her living in a haunted house where all this freaky shit happened but she never realized. Nor did she find it wierd that friends were mutants and monsters (One guy wheeled around on a surgeons table and had all his organs layed out. nice.) And that she was a ghost too.
In one baffling skit, she opened the front door to us but appeared to have her arms back-to-front as she had her back to us. She kept perfectly still and then a dark shadow out of the darkness inside the house moved towards her and quickly merged into her and seemed to reveal her front side without her turning round at all. Gem was none the wiser. I was scared as fcuk. Then I woke up.


That's what happens when you watch too much TV before going to bed.

If anyone's got a number for a good mental hospital please contact me, as I haven't a clue what's going on with my Brain upstairs. What a weirdo.

I know there's a lot to read today. I do apologize.

I said I'd keep them short but haven't do so yet.
It's coz I'm so interesting you see.
There's just so much to tell.


Byzie Bye.


Thanks for the e-mail Louise - v.funny.

Newman, I wanna talk to you about a forthcoming Porthmouth visit.

Paul Bratton... how could you miss out on a Sci-fi shake?

Blake - nice bloggin with the handwriteing stint there.

Omad Djalili you ROCK!

Gem keep out of my dreams. I'll get in trouble.