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The Milhouse Affairs

This is a detailed insider's account (namely me) on the living mystery that is, Matthew 'Milhouse' Johnston. Containing an amplitude of tales for everyone throughout my exciting, embarrassing, bewildering and shameless day-to-day lifestyle, I will bleed my heart out on to these electronic pages in the hope that you will be blessed with the knowledge that Milhouse is still very much alive, in sorts. Viva Las Milhouse... Forever!

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Let The Sweat Begin

After a relaxing day in Prague, we were hurried by the need to spend unwanted crowns. It turned out everything was to cheap an we ended up leaving with it all. We then spent 17 hours on a train and ended up in hot hot Rome. We managed to find a hostel with just enough room.

The hostess was a lovely lady who ill dedicate a paragraph too. She frowned at us when we slept in and scowled when we came back to late. She waited till we were dozing then sneaked in and turned off the Air-Con with a remote - the only control the contraption had. We sussed her out the next night when all six of us were in the dorm chatting and she couldnt be bothered to wait so just butted in. After some arguing she remained resilliant and we remained baking. The final testimony to her loving kindess was stopping us from leaving our rucksacks with her for the day, which meant a full day in the sun looking around the Vatican with a month on our backs.

The Dorm turned out well though, we met two guys from the west midlands - we didnt hold it against them - and exchanged travel tips till early morning. Along with another passionate swedish couple who understood most of the conversation till we started taliking about top gear and wetherspoons. On both nights in Rome we had the pleasure of hearing the couple whisper sweet nothings in each others ears as we tryed to fall asleep, the swedes werent that quiet either.

Our first day in Rome involved intense heat, a visit to the colleseum an a lot of walking around. We also consumed a nice pizza and a lot of ice cream/sorbet. Matt was a machine totalling 3 by the end of the day. We finished the day with a very expensive beer and the realisation that we would be broke by the time we left Italy.

We were quite surprised by the business of the city and on the second day decided it was time for our first beach trip. This was immense. We felt ultimately hairless and white but it didnt stop us from chilling out for the whole day. It was glorious.

When we got home that night, we chatted to Shawn an Tom, the 2 english lads, and did our internet malarchi. Our final day of Rome I already overviewed, sweaty and heavy Vatican stuff, I guess we got a real taste of Catholosism. We did also have lots of fun though, for me learning about the grave of st. Peter.

By the evening we were in Florence, recommended by the people we were talking to and after an elongated search for a hostel we settled in with a new japanese aquaintance, I wish he wore tighter y-fronts, as that night it seemed we had three light bulbs. Sleep was easy after a couple of bevvies and some live music in a park somewhere and another in a diabolical pub.

Aylwin

Stizzle An´ Mizzle´s Highlights So Far

-The current made up jokes,
Matt: What did the cookie say to the donut? Muffin
Aylwin:What is the heaviest meal in the world? One Ton Soup
Thats just a taster, so your sides stay intact.

-Making elephant noises for a whole day

-Eating at the house of sizzle (shizzle)

-Matt thinking he was asking for directions to a castle, when infact he was asking for the price of the castle, long foreign conversation.

-Aylwins bartering technique with an indian man selling squiggy blob faces. It involved laughiong at a very high pitch till he lowered the price, we got him down to 3 for 2 euros - when he found out we werent looking to buy.

-Ice Cream/sorbet from El Crispino
Matt: Whiskey-Honey
Aylwin: Plum-Melon
Seroiusly it was the poshest ice creamisest store in the world.

-Aylwin getting his wallet stolen, then him realising and shouting at a petit gypsy, "wallet Now," It was soon returned.Im ard.

-4 Hennies in a row in berlin.

-Also finding the best hostel in the world in berlin, pòssibly.

-Finding one of the best hostels in the world in Florence, oh an one in Nice.

-Going out on the tiles in Prague 4 50p.

-Going out in Pargue 4 2 meals in one day 4 50p

-Sleeping at train stations from various lack of train knowledge.

-Meeting loads of cool people in Nice

-Aylwin taking a pee in the ocean and getting hit by a big wave, sea water and phones dont mix.

-Hearing a Mexican try and do a London accent.

-Looking at lots of mankey pigeon feet, Ill get you snaggle foot, if its the last thing i do!

-Meeting a couple of dudes from leeds uni.

oh an sorry for the blog delay, internet is expensive in some places.

Peace out. Aylwin