Today I Met A Tosser

Quite simply, today I met a tosser.

And me being me - exclusively surrounded by circles of highly intelligent & classy looking people - it's been a while since I last came across one.

I was, in all truth, a little taken back by how much of an idiot he made himself out to be.

Now as much as I love customers. A lot of them ARE stupid, and any attempt to be clever usually gets slapped back in their face, the poor souls.

This guy... (I say guy - he was more of a 17 year old schmuck)... This schmuck wanted a large hot chocolate which I happily made for him.

As always, I did my "six steps" stint and offered him a stamp for his loyalty card, which had only two more spaces before it was full (a full loyalty card gets you a free drink as you should already know). I gave him one, for which he was very happy for, and in return he payed his money.

...Now it's at this point that I can imagine he just remembered the little anecdote his pub mate told him the night before about how he managed to get a full Nero card without paying at all.

I turn to face the coffee machine to make a latte for myself, which is about the when I hear a casual voice from the schmuck I just served behind me call out,

"Oh yeah... can I have a look at that stamper?" - his loyalty card still on the counter.

Clearly this punk thought I had no idea what was going to happen if I let him "have a look at the stamper".


Hmmmmm... let's have a think about this one... sure... I'll give you the stamp so you can look at it then stamp then stick one on your card... yeah... that sounds like a great plan.

Idiot.

I turned round and held the stamp, showing him what it looked like.

"Yeah, can I hold it?" he says.

To which I fairly reply "Errr. No."

He sighs and exclaims to me "Oooooh, I was going to put a stamp on the card. A he he he!", smiling as if it was a hilarious prank he nearly pulled off, though clearly disappointed by the fact it hadn't work as well as his mate told him it would.

"No, were you?" in my politely sarcastic way.

"Yeah! It worked in Bromley last time."

"Did It... ...Goodbye sir."

All I can say is watch out Caffe Nero Bromley, you certainly have a real sly ol' fox on your hands there.

What a dipstick.