Listening To Aswad & Feeling GOOOOD!

Baby! Everything is Alright! Uptight! Out Of Sight! - Yeah, That's the good stuff.

For some reason I've suddenly felt really good. : )
I don't know why but then again, I don't care either!

Thanks to everyone who's posted. It's really nice to here from you all.

Collect, I only realized you left a comment. Hope you don't mind me blabbing bout you being crazy an' all.

Cozin Louise, It's great to hear from you. Thanks for making my blogspot go International.
Yay You!
Louise, too all who don't know her is my eldest (but not that old!) cozin who's currently teaching kids in Vietnam with her Hubby (What's up Chris!).
I like the drawing of yourself by the way. Good to see those art class's didn't go to waste!
(I'd love to come Vietnam - I'll definitely consider it, thanks)

Dom it's good to here from you too buddy. You're obviously not looking hard enough... I'm sure there must be SOMEONE to play Pro Evo with you.

Have you thought about writing "I Like Pro Evo - Do You?" backwards on your forehead?
Or Maybe you should get a T-shirt and put that on it?
That would be the saner option I think. Maybe not as fun thou.
I found a website with free software where you can do all that sort of stuff.


He, He! I've found my new-found short-term love!

TRON!

I watched the film as a child at my grandma's but never saw it all.

I managed to find it in the library on video thou, & it ROCKS!

Sure the story line and characters are crap, the visuals are mindblowing.

It's a old Disney film about some hacker who get stuck in a computer game world where programs are living people.
But the art concept is really cool (Old school costumes that glow red or blue e.t.c) I can't really explain it.

You have to see it to believe it.

The vehicles they use are P.H.A.T. Neeeeoooowwww. Extreme-G ripped them off so much on this one!

And the backdrops... I have no idea how they did it.

The visuals were the dog nads when it was some 10-15 years ago and they're still dope.

unbelievable! They've recently made a sequel video game out of it too...
No doubt I'll be buying that!

So yeah check it out if ya can just for fun.

I stuck it onto DVD so I could watch it again and, again.

I've really got to go now.

I'm still at college and was supposed to be back home early.

Mum and Steve (evil Step-Dad) are going out to see Jonathan Ross on his Friday night live show. A few good faces are turning I hear.

Chào ba!

Golden Milhouse Award for 'Best American TV Series of 2004' - The O.C.

The Polls Are In... BATV-04

It Is Time.

The prestigious 'Golden Milhouse' award for 'Best American TV Series of Two Thousand and Four' goes as follows.

At Number 3 - We have a split decision between Scrubs - the zany hospital comedy, and Nip Tuck - the one with beautiful women, plastic surgery and flashy cars.

In Second Place - A surprise announcement for Malcolm In The Middle, best decribed as the modern day Bradey Bunch on acid.

But in first position by popular vote, the best American TV series of 2004 goes to...















THE O.C.!

Congratulations to all who voted for it's just desserts - I'm guessing Newman made at least half the votes here.

For any of you fans of The Orange Country I have found the perfect website to fufill your needs on the inside world of the show.

I'd like to thank everyone who voted for the Golden Mihouse ceremony.

I plan to make this will be a weekly feature on The Milhouse Affairs. their will be various topics to vote for so keep up the good work.

But this time I want more votes than before (I can't stop anyone from voting twice so you may use that to your advantage!).

Unfortunatley I have not been able to make an award as yet. But fear not, there will be a Golden Milhouse figure pretty soon!

I better get back to the drawing board and step on it then.

Stay tuned!

(p.s. if you think this whole Golden Milhouse thing is crap, please tell me so and i'll stop wasting my time)

Lego is a marvellous thing.

Mihouse's Nemesis

First & foremost, give it up Ash.

The 'anonymous' comments you're sending are blatantly obvious.

You know, you don't have to visit this site. Go bug someone else with your 'voluptuous volcabulary'.

From here on, I would like to say that this is a happy place. There's no need for pushing and shoving.
Can't we just all get along? We're all friends here.

Anyway, this is my blog Ash, not yours - you're very welcome to write your own derogatory thoughts on your own blog.

I know my hardcore fans might have been disappointed with the absence of yesterdays post. But I would like to point out that while I will try to keep you blog junkies updated each day, this will not always be possible, as was the case yesterday.

Yesterday, was fun in a S&M way.
Regarded now as a tradition, it so goes that whenever I decide to visit a 'buddies' house where there are more than two people in at one time, I'll get injured in some way, shape or form.

Yesterday was no exception.

I can't quite explain the phenomena behind it - perhaps I was a Voodoo doll in my previous life...
Or Duffy Duck.

Either way it hurts.

To cut a long story short, here I am, my upper body bound up with duck tape. I'm struggling under the grip of Newman's hands holding me while Ashleigh trys to kick me in the stomach. In a defensive manner, I attempt to kick back at my 'so-called' friend but fail miserably. I trip up under the off-balance, and my skull inevitable meets the kitchen floor with a fair wallop and Hana-Barbara sound effect.
Whilst I'm lying on the floor - brain cells depleting rapidly & bump-on-head making it's appearance - Newman & Ash laugh their heads off as they view the footage of my prat fall on the digital camera they set up.

Oh, what marvelous friends I have. I'm so lucky.

But as I am strictly the non-violent type. I am pretty much powerless to do anything.
B.T.W. - This is your cue to start feeling sorry for me. Or laugh at me, depending on how nice you are.

It's okay thou, this is not the first time something like this has happened.

My favorite has to be the 'tied-in-a-sleeping-bag-and-beaten-with-pillows' - that was a doosey.
Or the infamous 'Tree Hug' performed in the school playground.

Though they would deny it, I do hope that the antagonists in question will deep down, feel a painful guilt & regret for what they have done to me over the years.

It's never too late to say sorry, u know.

Changing the subject. I wish all the best to Newman, who today has finally left the nest & is at present, making wings at his home-from-home in Portsmouth Uni. 3 Cheers for Newman!

Apart from the noted incident, we played a nice time playing Footnis or Tenball (I don't know what it's called) and adding music to his harddrive (a favorite pastime of mine).

Today was what I'd call a normal day at college, not much to talk about really.

I haven't had lunch so I suspect I'll be taking a trip to Upper Crust on Platform 4 later on.

That's about it really.

Thanks for the website Blake. (Someone's made a huge Logo figure of my namesake.)

Anyone who hasn't voted for their favorite TV series better make it quick as it'll will be changing pretty soon.

The outcome is final.

So if you don't want the O.C. to go down in Milhouse famedom. Make your contribution.
I'll post the results tomorrow.


All Feet Insane!

P.s. Dom, u never gave me the postcode. Everyone feel free to leave comments, questions, quotes requests and constructive critisim whenever you feel.
Also you can email me at empeejay@hotmail.com
(it spells out M.P.J., my initals if you wana remember that way!)

C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN

Hey fellow, fellow.
How Art thou?

Today was a day of Dos. And currently still is.

As you can see I have been busy playing a dangerous game of vanity and dodgy Photoshop filters (not my most skilled work but I like it).
It also gives you folk who I isn’t seen in a long time a chance to update on my ugly mush. Granted my hair isn’t black... nor is my skin a freaky red and yellow colour.
But as you can see the hair is finally back to normal - previously, for unknown reasons I had actually been possessed by the lead singer of ZZtop. Not a pleasant pastime.

Well, my Dad & Alison (Step Mum) cooked up a nice roast pork dish today, but sadly there was no Baguette for starters.

I played with Daniel (the likkle brother I mentioned earlier) and his Brio set. I was Thomas (of course) and he was James the red engine, who successfully managed to block my path on more than one occasion.

I really like the track by Nelly Furtado at the mo (it's called Try - http://nelly-furtado.letras.terra.com.br/letras/78662/).
I've turned into Newman and played it to death. But it’s really nice.

Lastly, none of the people I asked to turn up on MSN today have done.
But it's too late now. You blew your chance.
Instead, I had to find means of being sociable with the likes of 'Wibbly Wobbly Wooo', otherwise known as Paul Bratton. Which was fun.

For someone who looks to be the quite type, he certainly gives it all online. My GOD.
Maybe you should consider change your name to 'Blah Blah Blah'.
It's quite an endurance trying to surf the web when all the while, a huge pair of electronic lips are rambling on, on the back of your surfboard. Apparently he likes songs about children. Yeah, you heard it hear first. I'll let you figure your own opinion on that one.

Ohh! Big Up to DIV MAN! - The amazing Jonnie T's comic creation (catch it on http://www.freewebs.com/divman/divmancartoons.htm). I saw 'Divman Rules' and chuckled politely. When will series two be hitting the World Wide Web? I look forward to it.

A river, my cherries!

Mister Baguettey

Une Bagutte pour Monsieur Milhouse

Sausage & Tomato Sauce baguette - 65p. Very Nice Indeed.
In part because I put the Tommy K' on myself, to add that personal touch.

Been working ALL DAY today. 11-8. Pheeew... My feet stink of hot sock and uncomfortable new work shoe, my hands smell like pig (I’m a part-time delicatessen B.T.W. - or is that delicatee?) And wots worse, I have hat hair. I wouldn’t mind if there weren’t customers. Then I could perfect the art of slicing Parma ham ultra thin (It's bloody hard).

If anyone’s interested, my new shoes are Loake. Yeah. Very swish.

But maybe I should a about little about my job.

Paying £5.65 an hour, it's a pretty good deal for a lowly part- time youngster like myself. I work 8 hours a week, and have been for over a year - but that all boring info.
The real info is that I really... don't like my boss... putting that nicely (Although she was really nice today...).
Most of the time, she's a lazy, bossy, hipicritikal (b. i. t. c. h.).
Don't wanna say it too loud incase she hears...
But most of the time we're on different shifts anyway.

The best part of my job is that I’ve pretty much consumed a whole deli counter (Not in one go of course). Coz she's not around, I can try any of the ham, cheese, salami, pie, snacks I like.
And that's good.
But I don't take food out of the shop without buying it.

See, although I've eaten a deli counter doesn't mean I've stolen a deli counter, as it was still in the supermarket when I ate it - Therefore is not officially stealing : )

I trust none of you are cops? Or pigs, bent on revenge from me devouring their bread coated father? Good.

You won't believe the amount of utter smeg head customers I get.
Generally old, they come in packs - like they all came on the same bus or somrthing - and they are absolutely crap at being good customers.

You may think that I should worry more about being a good employee but I already am.
I'm polite, helpful, I smile and I give the customer what they want (within reason).

But I find that when you are a good customer, I'm a better employee... I want to serve you. I like your taste in our selection of processed meats.

So here are a few tips on how to be a good customer.

1. Please don't knock on the display window when I’m not serving you - I’m not a jack-in-the -box (as much as I wish I was)
   
2. You can smile too, you know.
   
3. You’re never too old to say 'please and thank you'.
   
4. Whistling or coughing is never a good way to get attention. We'll probably ignore you more.
   
5. If your going to buy ham from a delicatessen buy more than one slice of corned beef - splash out a bit and buy something nice! - this goes to small elderly women wearing blue cardigans in particular (you know who you are)
   
6. On my shift, I make the reducing rules - We're not in a rug market in Turkey. Please do not barter with me (no matter how persuasive you think you might be.)
   
7. Lastly, for a change, why not send your beautiful granddaughters to do your shopping for you, and put a weight off your tired mind.
   

Thank you for your time.

Wow that felt good.

Oh yeah, I never went to the pub in the end. Fell asleep waiting to go (AYLWIN!).
I'm not sure but I might be suffering alcohol deficiency. I'm no boozer bozo, but I do miss the tingly feeling now and then. Oh well.

At my dad's today. Gon to see me likkle bro (He's 3). Bless.


Right. That’s it. I'm off now.

Oh yeah, if your around 2morro Blake, can I chat 2 ya on MSN? Just about adding bits on blogger. Cheers. (Smegol is a creature created by J. R. Tolkin BTW, not a red dwarf phase i'm afraid)

I wanna hear from you too Dom. And Cozin Jane.

For those who don't know Dom, he's like a very smart Will Young. At the mo, he's at uni doin geeky stuff.


Ta'rah peeps!

p.s. blake i hope you brushed your teeth afterwards, becka you never text back, ash smells big time.

Friod & Smegol sitting in a tree...

It must be a thing with LCC Teachers.

Group C were ment to be getting our mug shots taken to day for the NUS cards. 35mins later, we're still waiting outside some forgotton hallway and no news of a photographer. Honestly, how am I supposed to take my grandma's advice if I have to hang around all the time? 'You must savour every moment of your youth whilst you have it' she says. I'm not getting any younger people!

He, He. We had a I.T. lecture today introducing the school website and intranet (which is pretty hectic I must say), but I couldn't stop thinking the techniction looked like Smegol.

THREE DAY WEEKEND! WOOP WOOP! Apperantly Monday is no longer a school day. Neither are the following Fridays.
I'm having trouble not jumping up and down on my seat right now.

Ohh! I met someone I know today! Yeah! Exciting stuff eh? But I don't know his name.
Mabye you could help me with this one Aylwin, he did graphic design at Ravenswood and was in the year below us. Brown skin, nice teeth, looked like a dentist (well I think so).

Anyway we had a nice little chat... He's skipped a year and gone straight into graphic design foundation. Yeah! Can you believe it? Cheeky sod.

As the skools split into Graphic School and Media school, I must take my role and pledge alligance to 'M' side.
Sure, I'll talk to him and be 'friendly' a'n' all, but deep down, I hate his 'G' side guts.

I'm tying to remember everything I wrote down because my computer froze whilt I was writing. Dammit.

Oh yeah... Thank you Collet for the series of Froidian theroies today. They were quite amusing.
But there's no deniying it, your a sick person...

NO I DO NOT WANT TO MARRY MY MOTHER!

I fancy going to the pub today. Newman you fancy a tipple? Aye, your welcome to come too. Not you Ash. Your not invited. : )

'Ohh! Poor sarcastic art student. You must be devil with the ladies!'

Well what a bloody waste of time that was >: ( !

‘Group C to meet outside the Tate Modern at 11:00 sharpish’…

Now, to most people, you’d assume that you had to meet outside the Tate Modern at 11:00.
But Oh No… for one person this meant stroll aimlessly around the London area until you manage to find a place that looks sorta like an art gallery, then at 11:35, go in it.

This person just happened to be our new teacher who was supposed to be giving us the tour! What’s the point of writing ‘sharpish’ if your not going to turn up on time at all?

What if the Thunderbirds did that?

‘5…duh…4…duh…3…duh…2…duh…1'

(silence)

...

...

(still silence)

...

...

(sound of tumble weed in background)

...

...

BOOOOOOM! 'THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!'

So we’re all standing around like a bunch of lemons waiting for something to happen, and nothing did. I had a look around inside a bit later while everyone split up into the various sections of the group, but to be honest, I couldn’t be bothered. Now don’t get me wrong… I like the Tate Modern. But when you’ve been there as many times as I have in the past, not a lot changes.

It does get me a tad frazzled on occasion though.

Particularly when passing the painting of a blue square.

If any of you haven’t seen this blue square, I recommend you should definitely go and check it out. Get this… It’s this square right… and this guys painted it blue. Yeah, can you believe it? He’s a genius. Totally inspiring. Totally original. And it completely justifies the 6 square feet of white space that it covers on the wall.

For those of you unfamiliar with sarcasm, that was it.

I’m a student ‘artiest’. I know about open mindidididness. But that’s a complete lack of effort on both the artist and gallery’s behalf.

Tate Modern: ‘Ohh! Look! A Blue Square! How modern and kooky! Here’s 50 thousand Mr. Artist.’

Mr. Artist: Heh, Heh, Suckas!

We were supposed to be there till 2 o’clock but I snuck out at 12 and grabbed a baguette.

I have a feeling that since being my second baguette of the week, the sandwich with a filling business must be booming. This one was much a more substantial lunch than before. They actually decided to butter it this time. I guess when you pay the extra £1.75p, your much more likely to get what you ordered. I do like Upper Crust. I always think it’s a pizza place thou.

I put a tenner on my phone today to get my 300 free texts and they haven’t come. Bastad O2. I believe I’m getting slightly obsessed with money. Mabye it’s my lack of it that’s the problem. Isn’t student life great?!

I’m off now, gonna do something else for the rest of today. Race snails or something.


T.T.F.N.

BTW: Ash, you still have a load of stuff at mine. Alywin can I have City Of God back? Thanks for the comment Blake.

Skoolz Back 4 Summa!

Welcome one, welcome all to my brand spanking new project! A D.I.A.R.Y.!

Hopefully I'll try keep this posted on a day-to-day basis just telling you my thoughts, activities and thought provoking rhetorical questioning e.t.c.

It's the fist time I've done a diary properly since I was a teenie tot (my mum used to make me when we went on holiday for some reason?!) so u'll have to forgive me if it reads shoddy...

Hold that thought...

No, I don't need your forgiveness, I don't care if it's crap. I'm proud of my peculiar structure, never ending sentences & slight dyslexia. Read it and weep for all I care - I need something to do in my lunch break.

Before I start, I have to give all inspiration for the leg-end that is Big Blake ( http://www.bigblake.co.nr ) - originating from Ravensood School like myself, he managed to be pretty quiet too most peeps but seemed to have a whole underworld of projects he set, such as short films and such that I never knew about.
We never really spoke that much at the time, but now I admit that he is quite possibly my favourite guy on the internet (Pass the non-stop chat scouser I met on Day Of Defeat!), his website cracks me up! ...
A lot of the topics I might choose to bring up will probably derive from reading his journal on blogger (http://bigblake.blogspot.com) - which I might add is hilarious in places!

I guess if anyone reads this it's either a miracle or one of my mates (in no order! - Alywin, Dom, Ash, Newman) but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm limiting the content of this diary to the few that know actually me... You're all free to read in on the lifestyle of a lonely art student trying to make a name of himself in London - if that's what floats your boat. Feel free to contact me as you wish for anything.

I assure you most posts won't actually be this long, this is just in introduction.

Well, about myself. I'm 18 and have a aspiration to be a world famous photographer, which is nice.
I've lived in West Wickham, Bromley (South East London) my whole life and just started at the London College Of Communication, which in future I will refer to as the LCC (J2LUK).

This is the second day and the first week of my induction here and I'm increasingly liking it here. The Day before was sligtly boring and I was bloody knackered and pissed off by the end of the day. I have no Breakfast and lunch and no one 2 talk to. Luckily my buddy Ash came to chill at mine so that I could release all the pent up aggression inside me, which helped nicely! (He'll gladly argue about anything and always have an opinion the exact opposite of my own or anyone else for that matter... Git.)

Today was much better. We did a stupid 'icebreaker' thing where we had 2 invent a character out of our partner and using 5 questions, make a short story (Dumb I know!). I turned my fellow namesake into a super hero with agic talking boots that gave him super powers! (Please don't sue Hammer Man!) Then they showed us around the place. OH MY GOD!

To think I used to take photographs with 1 spotlight and a felt black backdrop tut. This place is awesome. The library would make Stephen Hawking cream his pants (although he my not be able to control that anyway), the food and drink is cheap... THEY'VE GOT F**KING GREEN SCREENS PEOPLE!... Yeah!
(I already have ideas for a Morpheus spin-off.)

Still didn't really talk too many people today. I've decided that I'm quite a shy person but i'm sure i'll get more confidence later on.

For Lunch, Beef baguette with a Yorkie bar on the side. £ 1.95 - not bad. I asked for Pastrami though but the Russian women didn't understand... WOMEN!

Lastly I got my student travel pass application that mums been nagging me for. I don't blame her. Travel is ABSOLUTELY RINSIN' me at the mo. '$6.50 RETURN TO LONDON BRIDGE?! ... Bloody Outrageous!'
Then I've got to get on the underground. Don't get me started.

Anyway think that's enough for today, my fingers feel like they're about to fall off.

Goin to the Tate Modern with my group 2moro.

Ciao for Now!