Une Bagutte pour Monsieur Milhouse

Sausage & Tomato Sauce baguette - 65p. Very Nice Indeed.
In part because I put the Tommy K' on myself, to add that personal touch.

Been working ALL DAY today. 11-8. Pheeew... My feet stink of hot sock and uncomfortable new work shoe, my hands smell like pig (I’m a part-time delicatessen B.T.W. - or is that delicatee?) And wots worse, I have hat hair. I wouldn’t mind if there weren’t customers. Then I could perfect the art of slicing Parma ham ultra thin (It's bloody hard).

If anyone’s interested, my new shoes are Loake. Yeah. Very swish.

But maybe I should a about little about my job.

Paying £5.65 an hour, it's a pretty good deal for a lowly part- time youngster like myself. I work 8 hours a week, and have been for over a year - but that all boring info.
The real info is that I really... don't like my boss... putting that nicely (Although she was really nice today...).
Most of the time, she's a lazy, bossy, hipicritikal (b. i. t. c. h.).
Don't wanna say it too loud incase she hears...
But most of the time we're on different shifts anyway.

The best part of my job is that I’ve pretty much consumed a whole deli counter (Not in one go of course). Coz she's not around, I can try any of the ham, cheese, salami, pie, snacks I like.
And that's good.
But I don't take food out of the shop without buying it.

See, although I've eaten a deli counter doesn't mean I've stolen a deli counter, as it was still in the supermarket when I ate it - Therefore is not officially stealing : )

I trust none of you are cops? Or pigs, bent on revenge from me devouring their bread coated father? Good.

You won't believe the amount of utter smeg head customers I get.
Generally old, they come in packs - like they all came on the same bus or somrthing - and they are absolutely crap at being good customers.

You may think that I should worry more about being a good employee but I already am.
I'm polite, helpful, I smile and I give the customer what they want (within reason).

But I find that when you are a good customer, I'm a better employee... I want to serve you. I like your taste in our selection of processed meats.

So here are a few tips on how to be a good customer.

1. Please don't knock on the display window when I’m not serving you - I’m not a jack-in-the -box (as much as I wish I was)
   
2. You can smile too, you know.
   
3. You’re never too old to say 'please and thank you'.
   
4. Whistling or coughing is never a good way to get attention. We'll probably ignore you more.
   
5. If your going to buy ham from a delicatessen buy more than one slice of corned beef - splash out a bit and buy something nice! - this goes to small elderly women wearing blue cardigans in particular (you know who you are)
   
6. On my shift, I make the reducing rules - We're not in a rug market in Turkey. Please do not barter with me (no matter how persuasive you think you might be.)
   
7. Lastly, for a change, why not send your beautiful granddaughters to do your shopping for you, and put a weight off your tired mind.
   

Thank you for your time.

Wow that felt good.

Oh yeah, I never went to the pub in the end. Fell asleep waiting to go (AYLWIN!).
I'm not sure but I might be suffering alcohol deficiency. I'm no boozer bozo, but I do miss the tingly feeling now and then. Oh well.

At my dad's today. Gon to see me likkle bro (He's 3). Bless.


Right. That’s it. I'm off now.

Oh yeah, if your around 2morro Blake, can I chat 2 ya on MSN? Just about adding bits on blogger. Cheers. (Smegol is a creature created by J. R. Tolkin BTW, not a red dwarf phase i'm afraid)

I wanna hear from you too Dom. And Cozin Jane.

For those who don't know Dom, he's like a very smart Will Young. At the mo, he's at uni doin geeky stuff.


Ta'rah peeps!

p.s. blake i hope you brushed your teeth afterwards, becka you never text back, ash smells big time.