Funny Titbit #1

Just reading this issues Empire Magazine... apparently WalMart, have been accused of racism because it's website recommends you to buy Martin Luther King & Tina Turner DVD's when Planet Of The Apes is typed in! Oops!

Partyboy

It seems that we've come to a point in our family hood where my mother would rather I slept outside in the porch way rather than the possibility of burglar ever thinking of coming to raid our belongings.

Friday night, or rather Saturday morning, after a thoroughly enjoyable time at Aisce's leaving doo (my real boss ;p), I eventually got to Hayes - once again completely missing my bus stop in West Wickham, thanks to the drowsiness that alcohol endeavours.
Stumbling along in the general direction to my house, I found myself desperately resisting the urge to fall asleep walking, only safe in the knowledge that I was only a few yards away from my nice cosy bed.
I had my keys ready in my hand - often half the battle won - only to find myself greeted by the enormous "CLUNKing" sound that comes with trying to open the front door whilst the latch is on.

"WTF... oh bloody hell" - my mum's locked me out the house.

I can imagine that this has probably happened to a number of us out there (Aye & Dom certainly know this is not the first time for me), and that's just life sometimes. But the ridiculous thing about his is that my Mother knew I was coming back! According to her, as it was past 3:30am, she figured I wouldn't be coming back and therefore put the door on the latch, "coz you never know".

Now I realise mothers will be mothers, but I find this quite a annoyingly paranoid perception of home security especially when you have seen all the other methods my Mum uses to deter the boogiemen from entering - And when you end up huddled up in the corner of the porch way trying to sleep whilst icicles are forming around your nostrils and other parts, this opinion is magnified somewhat 10 fold.

It gets to 5:00am now, and I have successfully been half-asleep for around an hour. But enough was enough, and the time had come to break into my own home. It's at this instant that I am so thankfully I have a skinny stature, as, with my slim wrists I amazingly managed to take the latch off in less than 10 seconds (NB. keep this information to yourself, yeah?!)
Thank the heavens, I'm inside! I tell you, my bed had never felt so comfortable in my life.

So yeah, that was yesterday morning. Usually for me that would be enough excitement for a week. But it seems that regardless of my increasing tiredness, my charms and natural wit had been called into invitation for two nights in a row. (I'm joking about charms and natural wit btw)

Jonnie & Carwyn's charity ball was last night and I have to say I was absolutely astonished at all the work that went into it. Everything went smoothly the music (Backdrop Beat) was fantastic, and the company wonderful as ever.

I got a cab and picked up Justine from her house. Of course she looked absolutely ffantastic, unfortunately I knew it would only be a matter of time in the night before she would have to be witness to the Milly dancefloor moves. Woaw is me.

I have a few new pictures which you're welcome to see along with a few others from various places and occasions, but I would really like to receive the snaps other people took as well so please email them to me if you can.

I'm deciding that with my 4 day escapism form the torments that I can Nero I'm going to visit Aylwin in Leeds again, creating havoc and mayhem at every turn possible.

Till then, I have a spot of job seeking to do, as it's about time that I thought about earning more dosh so I can move out of this venue that I call home and into my own place. Shock, Horror. Can you imagine..?
I feel sorry for the landlord already.
(Poor little bugger)

p.s's
Happy Birthday Max!
Jonnie & Carwyn - A big thank you to the both of you for a fantastic evening, you should feel very proud about what you are doing.
The Family Steele - thanks for driving me home last night.
Thanks G & Adam & Justine for buying me drinks. I owe you one (each, of course)!
Howard - Know it's probably too late now, but I have the ultimate love song for you.
Jane Gillanders, finally got those photos on t'internet for you to see, let me know if you want any emailed to you.
Farewell Aisce! If I don't see you, I'm hoping you the most 'fantastish' time in Samos. Please send me a postcard sometime (or just a holiday txt if that's to old fashioned for you!).
Louise & Chris - where are you? Are you in Budapest now? What's it like? Let me know.
Rachel Archer - where are you? My favourite Nero lady, you seemed to have dissapeared off the face of the planet. I need to find out if things are as bad in Lincon Nero as they are over here! Please contact me :)
Lastly Note to everyone - I have a webcam now. Yay! Please come and visit me on MSN whenever and I'll pull a few silly faces for you if you like.

Biggup #2

MAD LOVE GOING OUT TO MY BOSS IN NERO.
(For giving me 4.5 days off next weekend)
Bo! :)

So Exciting

Now calm down..! I know you're all very excited and desperatly peeing yourselfs in wonder of what the new thingy on the right is.

(Well gather round children & I'll tell you)

Thanks to Hob showing me this cool little tool, you can now see exactly what music I've been listening to on my iTunes Libary up to the very last second. It's very cleaver. Comes from a place called Last.fm . There's a whole community out there in which you can find others users with simaliar musical interests to you. And then once you've played enough music to give you decent outlook into what you like, they basically create your own online radio staion for you to listen to.

As I understand, it's also an excellent way to discover new bands as well as put your own music online and get it heard along with all the big signed names out there (Aylwin and co. - I defininatly recommend this).

I've only been using it since the early hours of yesterday night, so the chart showing my 'most listened to artists' is a bit bare as you can tell... Especially when I have collected over 250 artists' material like I do (boast).

But over time, you'll see this chart gets more accurate. So keep checkin it out and I'll show you what real music is all about.

Biggup

Shout out to the Howard Z.

(my brotha from anotha mutha)

I'm Late, I'm Late, I'm Late!

My bloody work keys are stuck behind the freggin' radiator!

Fatter, Happyier, Not Productive

Man what a flippin' amazing meal.
I mean that was good.
I'm not joking.
Ohh, beautiful.
Mmmmm gosh that was tasty.
Man I'm full up.
I can't even move I'm so full.

Last night I went to Liz Kennedy's house (old skool friend, likes horses) to celebrate Tom Wild's Birthday (other old skool french-ish friend, thinks he's french). Liz cooked an absolutly amazing meal for myslef, Tom, Ash, & Mr Matt Shaw & the lovely Helen Shaw.

There was peppers, pasta & pavalova & plenty nostalgic Ravens Wood moments. Followed by a long philisophical hour discussion about life, the universe & everything. Mr Fortune, our R.S teacher would be proud.

Hella good, but now I have work soon & I really think I'm going to collapse into a Milly shaped puddle the second someone mentions anything to do with food.

Also crashed at Newman's in the early hours and ended up being cornered to the 6 outer inches of his double bed whilst he took up the rest.
First time I've slept with the Newman actually - was a special moment for me, but he farts a hell of a lot and to be honest I think I prefer sleeping on the ly-lo instead. Ash, you sleep with him next time, you suit each other.

Bye chaps.

Ps. Jus, I saw you walking down the Bromley high street yesterday night. :) I waved but I don't think you saw, and I didn't think it was worth embarressing you in an Alan Partridge homage. Be seeing you soon tho :) x

Get well soon Ren, don't let the chickens get you down x

Mates With Gandhi

Did a little political quesionnaire today...
Turns out I'm a left-wing libertarian, whatever that means.
I guess it makes sence, since I am left handed afterall :)
You should give it a try - the websites called Political Compass.
It's a little bit long (kinda like most of these blogs), but the questions are varied and it explains your results to you afterwards.

Recently I've been flittering my money away in greasy spoons. Well not just any Greasy Spoon, the Greasy Spoon - Pride Of Venice - kind of a long standing tradition for me and Aylwin. We've been going there on and off since our sixth form days I think. Real good portions and decent prices. Unfortunatly under new management now though plus they've painted the walls a wierd yellow colour now.

But you must take a visit sometime.
Cordinates: 51°25'4.17"N (Lat) 0° 3'32.12"W (Long)

Yesterday I had the "Sarah Special" while Aye went for his usual Double Sausage, Egg, Bacon & Chips.

I'm sure you're all riverted to know that.

Anyway, I had a good time yesterday helping out with Guest Of Honour's demo tape recording. (hope I didn't make such a crappy job guys). Their worship track sounds absolutly amazing they were also doing a heavy Hendrix cover too - I'm really looking forward to the Demo's release.

Anyways I'm out, catch you later peeps.

p.s. Thanks for the pay rise boss!

Also I'd be quite interested in finding out in what politaical position you all stand - just for interests sake.

The Madness Of King Newman

(click for a bigger pic)

R. Kelly - He Ain't

I think quite possibly,
most probably,
ubdenieably...

that with the help Aylwin & Sam we had discovered..
The Worst Musical Act In History ever to make it to the iTunes Music Store.

How this is possible that anyone could of made this sound SOOO BAD is beyond believe.

What's even more bemusing is how iTunes thought it deemed credible enough for them to actually sell it. Surly it would have been wiser to forward it to the S.A.S. as a radicle new interrogation technique?

See for yourself.

And for the love of God, please make sure you have something to cover your ears just incase it all becomes too much to handle!

(you'll need iTunes on your computer to listen to it of course)

A Crap Story.

Now I'm not usually one to delve into toilet humour for shits and giggles, (excuse the pun) but I must of done one of the loudest trouser trumpets on the top deck of the 194 bus this morning.
Even I was taken back in suprise by it's uninvited presence.
Sounded exactly like how I'd imagine a New Yorker would sound if he said "What?" while you were sitting on his face.
It's a good thing no-one else was on the top deck with me - I very much doubt that i could bluff my way out of that ambient disgrace for one second.

I'm Going Slighty Mad.

Great start today. I wake up at 8:15am today, and realise that I have work at 8:30am.

Obviously this leaves me in a tricky situation.

Like a pre-op transexual who's finds out it's half price surgery day, I get changed in a flash.
I'm rushing around for my keys, i can't find a clean apron anywhere and dirty socks are flying all over the place.

And then I look at the clock again and it's only 7:25am.
PHHHEEEEWWW!
I have a whole half hour to get ready. I can relax.
So then i stick a wickid new dressing gown on that even Hugh Hefner would be jelous of, and go down stairs and make myself some breaky.

I'm halfway through drowning my shreddies in milk when I look at the clock but this its 8:30am.

...?...

Either i accidently broke though the space time continuim and traveled an hour ahead in time, or I'm having major trouble remembering how to tell the time properly.
Once again I end up rushing around for my keys, and scattering dirty socks across the bedroom in desperate search of clean laundry.

"Bloody hell, I'm late for work."

30 minutes later, my hair look like it's been trampled on and i still stink of yesterdays coffee, but I'm at work and I think I'm okay for now, I think.

My only worries about this are that things like this seem to happen to me a lot more often than usual. Which is why I've started researching into prenile-senile disorder ...I wonder if it exists?

If it doesn't, I want to invent it but I'll change the name to Milhouse disorder, so I can remember it that the illness is from being myself.

Also I was told today that the link to my website that I so kindly spent time designing for you all has a typo. So not only do I have Milhouse disorder, I can't even spell my own name.
I would say disslexick, but I can't spell that either.

I'll sort it out sometime tomorrow and give you all an updated version. Kushty.

Which reminds me I have a new internet buddy self named Frogz, who's just started writing his own blog - which I might add is a very interesting, if slightly cynickle read. The only bad thing about this is he just so happens to be my French boss, so I can't write anything slagging him off about how shit his coffees are. Bugger.

Only joking man, your coffees are absolutly fine :)
(better not say anymore, he's a lot bigger than me)

Check him out. (You can't miss him)

Happy New Year by the way.
I just realised this is the first blog of 2006. "Woo Hoo!"

Hope you enjoyed yourselves as much as I did.
Went to Cheltenham and saw Cozin Jane & Kate. Had a fun time watching a very merry Kate in action at some funky club. I'll post some photos up a.s.a.p

One last thing. I don't want anymore nicknames please. I like Milhouse & Milly. No more.
I can't even count the amount I've had during my existance! Flippin eck.
Grandpa,
Milky Bar Kid (obviously),
Four Eyes,
Guiness,
& Shithead are to name just a few.
Today Miggy & Peppe at work started calling me William Wallace for reasons I can't understand. Then they changed it to Frodo coz I tried to explain to Miggy that Cheltenham was in the Midlands.
So yeah.
Just Milhouse please.

Right I'm out. I've got a bloody deep clean at the Caffe Nero to attend to this evening coz my lousy French boss won't let me watch the game at t'pub instead.

(Lousey Frenchman) : )