'Hello, Cllliiiivvvvee!'

Hey Boys & Girls.

'How Do? Who They? & Why?' you may be asking yourself...

Well the people in question would be Newman & myself, just yesterday after my 2 day visit to his student house in Portsmouth.

He will probably kill me for publishing these Polaroid’s as its clearly apparent that we look like and couple of twats and in the right photo, his chin has disappeared. 'There's no definition! THERE'S NO DEFINITION!'

But I'm going to keep them on here anyway because, to be honest... He deserves it.

He's been laughing at all your photos on the Internet, so it's time for James to taste his own medicine.

Besides, I like it (although my bleary eyes may make me look pretty off my head, I really wasn't) and what's he gonna do to me all the way in Portsmouth? Huh?

Nothing that’s what.

So anyways, enjoy.


I've gotta get a bigger bedroom.

I can't wait to get a place of my own.

My bedroom's nice; it's just too tiny for my needs now.

I can't fit all the things James has got:

1 Phat PC, 2 Monitors, Decks, Web Cam, Fancy Digital Camera, Dung Bells, Single Bed, Sofa Bed, Comfy Chair, Fast Internet Connection, Retro Alarm Clock, 5.1 Surround Sound, XBox Live + too many games.

Dam You Newman, I want all those things!

I also would mind those hi-tops you got either. Though I probably couldn't be bothered to clean them all the time so they keep white.

Actually, I was pretty impressed by how tidy Newman's room is.

Those of you, unlucky enough to experience the abomination that was James's bedroom back in his parent’s house will equally be as astonished.

You pretty much had to walk on the walls, there was so much junk on the floor.

Even Spiderman would have trouble with that.

But no, James is a new man now (gettit) - an obsessive-compulsive tidier like myself, his room is immaculate.

It's still early days thou, as his skills have only stretched out as far as his room.

The kitchen's state is something less desirable. But I'm not having a go... after all, that student life for ya.

There's much to tell of my expidition but I have to go...

I can't stay on the Internet too long before someone finds out.

Catch ya later.

Way Too Much Blog

HAZZAR! HAZZAR! HAZZAR!

I've found one of Blake's Easter Eggs!

Easter Egg No. 4 to be precise.

Apparently there are about 30 or so... he says.

I bet there's actually only 29 - so suckers like me will be forever searching for a hidden link that's not there.

I've been spending today mostly recovering from my jaw dropping to the floor as I stared in pure horror at the bank statement Natwest gave me today.

I can't believe I've spent that much in a matter of 3 weeks.

The more I think about it the more I wanna cry right now in the library whilst everyone peeks round their monitors and book covers.

All that saving and then eBay and Christmas bloody ruin everything!

I much as I am now addicted to eBay...
'I FLIPPIN HATE YOU WITH A VENGEANCE
FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!'
(eBay that is, not you)

I took out yet another £10 from the ATM and hurried my ass to West Wickham train station to give it to the nice man at the counter in return for 2 pieces of card.

Actually he's not as nice as that other nice man who I see on Tuesdays.

He waves to me... yes, he does.
And he gives me the OUT ticket on top of the RTN card every time... coz he's nice like that.
Thinking about it, I don't much care for the ticket man I saw today at all.

He's not a patch on this guy.

He doesn't greet me, there's no eye contact, he hands over my change very sloppily, and...

...he's bald.

Oh Well.

I'm getting on with the I,Robot book Ash gave me whilst on the train.

It's not bad really. Just nice, easy reading.

What's better is it's short.

No Pictures mind : )

No I'm only joking, I don't have any problem reading a long book as long as it's interesting.

'Are You Dave Gorman?' has to be one of my favourite books.

Hilarious stuff - If you don't know, it's about comedian, Dave Gorman searching for 54 (the number of cards in a deck - including jokers) of his namesakes with his flat mate. They end up meeting a number of amusing characters and eventually trek the globe in search of other Dave Gormans', often ending in hilarious consequences. Check it out.

Well for a change I get to college on time. Things were going well. That is until I try to find where my lesson is on the notice board.

The fact is... there is no notice.

I've looked around the places that usually am but I can't see anyone in my group.

So basically I've wasted my time and money coming in - once again. I could of done exactly the same work I'll be getting round to at home.

I've been sitting at this computer staring at a screen since 10am now.
(not really that much of an endurance test I know, but my butt cheeks are awfully numb now - I'm sitting on my keys in my back pocket I think.)

So what have I been doing all this time you ask?

Well, mostly I've been checking up all of your websites.

• I've red pretty much all of Blake's extensive RWS memories:

I don't know many of them but I do remember The Bench Society (tm) pushing people like me off their sacred bench at lunchtime... ...Havva accidentally knocking the rather expensive projector off of the trolley in Mr. Carrington's lesson... ...and the Hilarious moment when Rob McDougall managed to fall off the science balcony onto the reception chairs below...

• I've caught up on the happenings of the elusive Hob Disk. I hadn't seen it for ages but it's a good read. I've also left a few stupid comments myself.

• I've laughed in embarrassment at Newman's abandoned (and fairly useless) 'Day Of Defeat' website. ('I don't care if I didn't make my template... my websites better!' - previous Milhouse-Newman squabble. No hard feeling Newman!)

• I've checked out Aylwin's Frequency Suspects site only to find that it hasn't been updated since never. I'm not cussing, it's just it would be good to keep it up as you have got a new band member - and it looks blinding. (nice work Newman I must say)

• I've looked at Dommy C's old site. I know he works hard, so I can't have a go at him for not keeping it up. Nice Colour Palette dude.

• I've realized just how kool Jonnie T's Blunt Skulls website is. (Jonnie T - RWS's once very own Hard-Rocking, Ska-Lovin, Checkered-Wearing Art-Making Amigo) I love the picture of Jonnie T in his customized suit. Has anyone got a copy I could have?

• I've also gained inspiration from his brilliant DIVMAN comics (Unfortunately there's only 7. We Want More! Jonnie!).

Currently, I'm in the thought process of presenting a website with the bunch of cartoon characters I made over the years. I might make a few strips over Christmas time too. They've been recent 'train journey project' which I've developed from this one drawing I did in RWS called the Chipstick family*. Expect to see it in the new year. Bet you can't wait can you?

So. Yeah. It's been nice surfing today. Good to see how you've all got on.

I must admit, reading those memories of Blake's kinda brought a tear to my eye. Makes me realize how good those times were. Infact I really wish I could go back and re-live them. I would definitely change a lot of things that I did/didn't do. Not embarrassing stuff or anything. More the fact that I could been more involved in my surroundings and the people I was around.

I've actually been thinking the past few days how I should make the most of days - that time is wasted on the youth and I should get off my ass and enjoy life.

If only it was that easy though.

If I'm to make an early New Year's Resolution, it would be to do just that.

The first step for me has to be getting organized.


BTW - Congratulations on reading this far if you have... I would have been bored out of my head if I was reading this. Look at me babbling on.


Well, to finish off this sentimental mush crap, I just wanna take this reflective moment to say that although I wish some things were better, I'm grateful for the memories I've had, I thank everyone that I know, everyone whose been there for me and everyone I care for. Be it family or acquaintance, I want you to know that I love you guys. And I know it's sounds sissy but I'm being serious when I say that. You shape the world around me. Honest.

(you can puke now)


All the best.
Take it easy.
Over & Out.




*Once I pushed a Salt & Vinegar Chipstick into my forehead for a bet after school.
I ended up getting got loads of cuts from it, the vinegar made it irritated and I had to get the bus home with my co-mates asking why I had huge red rash on my forehead...

...I've never looked an actual Chipstick in the face since.

I'm Desperately Trying To Think Of A Title.

Just had a lecture from writer/director/animator named Robert Morgan.

We watched a few of his shorts and he's pretty good.

It's really dark, scary work he's done.

Anyone who's done film studies knows the kind of stuff I'm talking about.

Though the animation he's done is amazing.

Most have no dialogue, just ambiance - but he can get a million different emotions out of just one facial expression just by adjusting the light, etc.

Pretty tense and horrific, but beautiful and other-worldly.

One of the short (The Separation) is about conjoined twins who are separated at a young age, but later in life feel the absence of their sibling attached to them...

...oh yeah... and they own a sewing factory.

I'll leave your imagination to work out what happens next.


There was one which, actually was a live action short, which involved a troubled boy, terrified of his older sister's words 'When you go to sleep, I'm going to smash your f**king head with a baseball bat' (ahh, sisterly love).

He also has visions of a mental patient equipped with an axe, escaping from the local clinic and massacring his family in full over-the-top gratuitous violence.

Sound nasty but it's shot and acted really well.

And the Mental guy looks scarily like the S&M baddy from Farscape... I've forgotten his name.

Aylwin help me out... (he's a Farscape nut).
( They're making a movie don't you know... )

''WHAT THE FRELL IS GOING ON KRYTON!''

So yeah... oh, and my favourite of the shorts was called 'The Cat With Hands'

It's about 3 minutes. Click on the link and take a look.

You'll never guess what it's about. : )

It's a cleverly simple plot and is very like those old nightmarish fairy tales, but you don't really see this kind of stuff anymore. Takes me back to watching stuff like this as a child and being freaked the freak out.

I'm looking forward to visiting Newman this Sunday (I've missed you buddy!). I've got to buy a 2-day return train ticket to Portsmouth where he's staying. Whilst I'm there I'm pretty sure there will be some hardcore 'Halo 2' multiplayer goin on.

Newman is an absolute Mad Man when it comes to virtual reality assinations.

Scarily so infact...

Valid proof that my prediction is correct...

Newman's Dad is an international secret agent.

Getting tips from the big boys eh James? Explain that one!

Just don't tell him I said that, incase tomorrow I mysteriously die from 'accidentally-looking-too-far-over-a-12-storey-window.'

Anyway, I'm off to bid on the very rare PSone game, Vib Ribbon.

Wish me luck!

C U L8R Ladies & Gentlemen.

Public Service Announcement

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
INTERNET 20/11/04

Use of this facility is increaseing - and so are the associated bills!!!

: RESTRICT YOUR USE AND DO NOT USE OTHER THAN FOR ESSENTIAL WORK.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


- post it note I found today next to the 'family' PC, left for myself and hand-written by Steve.

Not only am I not allowed to pay for broadband myself, but I can't use the crappy 56K we have either.

Unbelievable. I:(

'I Have Wings Like A Shield Of Steel!'

Well. Thank you all for your concern.

Thankfully I had picked up the wrong roll.

Which saves me precious time having to re-shoot everything all over again.

Although If I picked up the wrong one in the first place, I wouldn't have any problem anyway.

So much for my fancy labeling system.

I remember putting one used roll of one side of the bed and a new one on the other but thanks to a slightly paranoid short-term memory I must of panicked again and completely forgotten what was where.

I hate being dumb. It's gonna get me killed one day I swear.

I'm starting to get that horrible felling in my stomach as I feel everything toppling over me.
I need to work harder and get to school on time.

THOSE BLOODY TRAINS AGAIN.

I purposefully made an effort today to get up earlier, eat a healthy sized breakfast compared to just my usual 'pro-biotic yogurt drink', get showered and refreshed in the morning hours rather than when I get home, pick up my package from the post office, come back and then leave again to wait for the '18 past' in good time.

Well I managed to accomplish all those things except catch the train which, low and behold, was cancelled.

Seriously, I was so close to crying.

So now instead of being the the street lecture theatre learning things, I'm in the library feeling dread for having to creep in after lunch break.

They don't act to kindly to people who stroll in 20mins late, so I can't even go in to hear the rest of whatever's on today menu.

At least I can still get on with my essay here, but the really annoying thing was that it wasn't my fault today.

I'm gonna have to wake up even earlier next week.


Oh yes...

...My package!

Well, other than a pretty depressing start to the day - which also included rain literally gushing over my recently 'dryed and fruktissed hair', making me look like a wet dog - I did get some enjoyment out of collecting my 'Special Delivery' from the post office.

There's definitely something about brown paper and duck tape...

I was walking down my road, cradling it in my arms and just looking at it in wonderment.

Even though I knew what was in it, I still caught my brain guessing what might be inside... Desperately resisting the urge to rip it open there and then;

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Right Side (creative side):
He's wrapped this up well hasn't he?...
...Look, he's written Milhouse on it!
...It's not ticking is it?...
...Could be a bomb! - Bombs comes package like this shape.

Left Side (sensible side):
Don't be stupid, it's you're camera isn't it. You know that.

Right Side:
Welllll, I don't know - feels a bit light to be a camera, maybe there was a mix up in the post.

Left Side:
...hmmm...

Right Side:
...says fragile on it...

Left Side:
Then for God sake Matt don't drop it...

...matt...

...Matt...

...MATT! Don't drop it! Hold it steady!

Right Side:
I AM, OK?!

Left Side:
That's it...now walk slowly, what you rushing for?

Right Side:
I want to get home and open it

Left Side:
Why?

Right Side:
It's Exciting!.

Left Side:
Grow up Matt, it's just a package.

Right Side:
It's not 'just' a package, idiot...

Left Side:
Whatever. (child)

Right Side:
...

I'm gonna open it now.

Left Side:
Are you crazy? We're not even home yet.

Right Side:
So?... I wanna have a look.

Left Side:
Matt NO. Wait till we're home.

Right Side:
...I'm opening it

Left Side:
Matt!

Right Side:
Just a peek.

Left Side:
Stop It!

Matt that's enough!


...RIP...


Left Side:
You idiot. What did you do that for! YOU CAN'T JUST WAIT CAN YOU, EH?!

YOU NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY DO YA!

WELL I'VE HAD ENOUGH I'M LEAVING THIS JOINT!

I HOPE YOU TURN INTO SPONGE!

Right Side:
Oh I'm sorry! I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry! Matt Don't leave me! Please! PLEASE! ...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

... It's goes on like this.

It's at this point within my blog that I advise anyone with the capability to read minds to stay the hell away from mine... It gets a bit crazy up there sometimes.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention about the Postman. I went into the room where you go to collect such packages and rung the bell for assistance as no one was there.

Within 2 seconds a guy strolled out to me and said... 'Oh, Hello Matt'

...

I've never met this man in my life.


Strange?, I thought.

I gave him my slip and he promptly goes to the back room and comes back with a brown box addressed M. Milhouse.

'Here you are Matt' he goes. 'If you could sign this Matt'

'Great. See you later Matt'

Bye, I guess.

Now, does anyone else find this a bit freaky?

A postman, I have no recollection of even seeing, speaks to me like an old acquaintance and calls me by my first name.

Of course you would say that he must of seen my package beforehand and assumed it was mine.

But my name wasn't on there - it was address M.Milhouse, after my user name on eBay.

I mean, he seemed like a friendly enough guy. But exactly how much does he know about me?

Do I have a secret stalker postman?

Think about the prospects of being a stalker postman...

He can read all my mail before me...
He knows where I live...
Who my friends & family are...
My bank details...
My hand writing...
Even what magazines I read.

Not even my mum knows that (Joking)!

So I am a little puzzled about that to say the least.

He had an Irish accent, so I was wondering whether he was actually saying 'Mate' but with a silent 'E'

Do Irish do that?


I've almost done all my Xmas shopping now.
But all my saving up has seemed to be all in vain, as there is now a Bloody huge hole in my pocket.

It gets more expensive every year I swear.

Christmas... Humbug.

It's all one big holiday for supermarkets.

Anyway. Better do some work now.

Take it easy guys and girls.


P.S.

ENGLAND YOU ARE CRAP. SOMEONE NEEDS TO KICK A NOVELTY GIANT FOOTBALL BOOT UP YOUR A HOLE!

Blake, that whole Eskimos versus Inuits thing...?
I must have watched the same channels.

'Anyone for 'Put a Bit of Sellotape on the Fridge?''
Sounds Fun.

Anyone For Frustration?

Bloody Hell.

I thought I'd spend my lunchtime productivley and develop my negatives at college.

Well either I've really 'effed' things up (highly plausable) or I've picked up the wrong roll of neg - There's nothing on them.

I really hope they are the wrong ones coz I spent ages on that roll.

What a waste of time that was.

Blood, Blood, Glorious Blood.

I forgot to mention yesterday that it was my Dad's birthday. 'Hip! Hip!...'

I saw him in the morning before he went for his birthday dentist appointment (Ha Ha!) and gave him his card.

To save on expenses, James decided to write on an old Father's Day card and cross the essential 'Fathers Day' bit out to replace it obviously with 'Birthday' - We managed to buy 2 cards accidentally last Dad Day, you see.

It's Dan's 4th Birthday Party on Saturday but I won't be seeing him for a while because of work an all. Shame really.

He's getting a whole Lego Pirate set from most of us - so during the past upcoming days Dad and Alison have been subtly dropping encouraging comments towards the one-eyed, one-legged, parrot lovers.

I gave blood on Monday for the first time.

I'm pretty chuffed with myself really, as it's something I've always wanted to do but never had the urge to motivate myself to go when its on.

The little beds they stick you on are really comfortable!
I fancy getting one for my room.

I won't lie though. You can certainly feel it when they stick it in. And a kind of vampire's blood-sucking sensation from the needle. It's not that bad though.

It's the pulling off the plaster afterwards that's the worst part.

Especially if you have particularly hairy arms as I do from my albino werewolf days...

1st rip: 'AHHHH!.... '

2nd rip: 'AHH... AHHH... AHHHHGH'

3rd rip: 'BLOODY HELL
THAT SMARTS!'

You get the idea.

The guy sitting next to me was really cool and was telling me everything about what was happening. Apparently the pint of blood I gave could go to help as many as three people... They separate all the white & red blood cells and so on to get maximum usage out of it so they say.

They're a real sense of satisfaction about the whole thing.

Plus you get complimentary biscuts and an excuse to sit on your arse for the rest of the day!

Certainly thats worth a pint alone?

No loading heavy plates into the dishwasher for me!

Grolsch, Goths & Grand Theft Auto

Wow.

I feel really ashamed that it's taken me this long to post.

I get the feeling that I'm continually 'flaking out' apologizing about not posting so after this, I'm not going mention it any more as it's not particularly prime-time reading.

So what's happened in my life?

To be honest I feel kinda bad coz things are starting to mount up.

Mostly college work.

I've still got that essay to write amongst other things.

I predominantly blame this on Playstation are their lastest release which needs no introduction...

...GTA San Andreas.

Well it's only bloody addictive isn't it!

Playing it for over a week now, I've been waking up with cravings for the game and spent nights awake thinking about jacking cars and killing homies.

I'm not the persuasive type am I?!

Thankfully Ash has nabbed it off me... It is his afterall.

Perhaps now I can re-emerge into glorious techniqcolour reality!

Speaking of cravings...

Remember that old 90's classic, 'Constant Craving' by KD Lang ?

Heard it yesterday and I swear, she says 'Can't Stand Gravy' in the chorus.

Listen to it. It's not Constant Craving, its Can't Stand Gravy.

I might just attempt to pitch a marketing opportunity to Bisto...

I'm sure with today's modern technology they can make ol' KD appear to fit 'OXO's' in between's stand and gravy.

I'm pretty proud with my iTunes Library right now.

I don't know if I've told any of you but being a bit of a music lova, over the last 2 years I've obtained roughly 20.3 days of solid listening material.

That's 487 hours 12minutes & 7 tenths of a second of music.

Not bad. Since most of it's not mine.

I don't burn illegally of course, a lot has come from my Dad's collection, my friends and the wonder that is the iTunes music store.

I imagine that there's is probably something there for even the most extreme music tastes.

It's nice having such a wide music selection as I have come across various covers of the same track from completely different artists/bands.

I make a musical link such as... Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stevie Wonder - Blue - Elton John - George Micheal - Queen - Wyclef Jean - Lauryn Hill - Eminem - Obie Trice - Nate Dogg - Dr. Dre - The Rolling Stones - Musiq Soulchild - Scratch - Rahzel - Bjork - Sting - Craig David - Artful Dodger - Oxcide & Neutrino - Ali G - Baddest Ruffest - U2 - Seal - R. Kelly - The Isley Brothers - Snoop Dogg - N.E.R.D. - Britney Spears - Justin Timberlake - Basement Jaxx - The Chemical Brothers - Fatboy Slim - All Saints - Red Hot Chili Peppers

phew. I'm not doing that again!

I've also noticed strange appearances of the Nightrider Theme in the Punjabi MC track.

Also Lemar's 50-50 is uses a backing track from an earlier Jay Z track.

Interesting stuff.

I guess you all heard about the Goth - Cherry Milkshake incident.

Just to clarify I didn't literally throw it at her.

Instead I kinda tripped whilst holding it losely in my hand and unluckily managed to project it over the majority of her black attire as I was walking/falling towards her.

Thing is... I was really looking forward to drinking that.

I sometimes buy them from the AMT Coffee stall at London Bridge Station and on that occasion I bought one orange milkshake and one cherry as I was feeling pretty glutinous.

After literally devaluing the meaning of sorry to her, I offered her the free napkin I got with it to clean herself up and I walked off in a fairly sharpish fashion... My head to the floor and resiteing how much of an idiot I felt.

Being a Goth. She was actually quite a nice person at heart and I got off pretty lightly.

Thou I'm not sure who was more embarrassed - There were quite a few other commuters around her, which unsurprisingly felt the wrath of the giggle loop instantly and another who saw what happened and was commentating over her mobile to her boyfriend.

Bloody Hell. Could it of been worse if it tried?

People... Please share any highly embarrassing moments you've had so I can try and feel better about it all.

Anyway.

I'd like to thank Ash & Gem for their hospitality and company recently.

We went to the White Stag pub in West Wickham on Friday (Apperently the bar tender is huge fan of poetry or something, so he told me) and played the celebrity name game of which I am now a member.

Ashleigh has also been helping me as my male model no.1/codirector with my first attempted photo project. Still to be finished though.

I'm gonna have to go back to old skool RWS on Friday to get the last images done a I require that rather large reflective window outside the geography block.

I might as well pick up my old A level art work too whilst I'm there.

Seems like ages ago yet my days there have come and gone so quickly... If that makes sense.

On Saturday when the local fireworks display was on I was stuck in bloody Safeways which was an absolute ghost store at the time - 3 customers in 3 hours or working. Unbelievable.

Finally, most recently, to counteract my addiction of GTA... if now become addicted to eBay.
I've spent about £60 this week on junk but I can't tell you what I've bought as some are Xmas prezziez for you lucky people.

NO EVERY ONE THOUGH!

I'm not made of money afterall.

So you'll have to be especially nice to me if you want one.

I suggest bribery... at least then I can pay for your present.

Right that's if for today...

I'm gonna catch up on Blakes blog ...

OPPPS not that one...

I mean this one.

Oh yeah... and I'd yet to meet Blake's request of handing the Golden Milhouse to his website...
I will do mind.

I'll also be changing the poll soon.
Or I might get rid of it completely.

I hope you all notice I've made a link on the top right of the site for my photos.

Just to save you the trouble of searching for it in old posts in the archives later.

I will sometimes add new photos now & then when the time comes.

I'll tell you when I do but it may mean having to take off previous images.

Let me know if you'd like any of the photos/graphics in larger format and I'll try my best to e-mail them to ya.

Byezibye.